Found 147 results
2m2s
Shrek, wait, wait! Wait a minute! - You wanna do this right, don't you? - What are you talking about? There's a line you gotta wait for. The preacher's gonna say, Speak now or forever hold your peace. - That's when you say, I object! - I don't have time for this! Wait. What are you doing? Listen to me! - Look, you love this woman, don't you? - Yes. - You wanna hold her? - Yes. - Please her? - Yes! Then you got to, got to try a little tenderness - The chicks love that romantic crap! - All right! Cut it out. - When does this guy say the line? - We gotta check it out. - [Donkey Grunting] - And so, by the power vested in me, - [Shrek] What do you see? - The whole town's in there. - I now pronounce you husband and wife, - They're at the altar. - king and queen. - Mother Fletcher! He already said it. - Oh, for the love of Pete! - [Grunts] I object! - Shrek? - [Gasps] Oh, now what does he want? [Crowd Clamouring] Hi, everyone. Having a good time, are ya? I love DuLoc, first of all. - Very clean. - What are you doing here? Really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, -but showing up uninvited to a wedding-- -Fiona! - I need to talk to you. - Oh, now you wanna talk? It's a little late for that, so if you'll excuse me-- - But you can't marry him. - And why not? Because-- Because he's just marrying you so he can be king. Outrageous! Fiona, don't listen to him. - He's not your true love. - And what do you know about true love? Well, I-- Uh-- - I mean-- - Oh, this is precious. [Chuckling] The ogre has fallen in love with the princess! - Oh, good Lord. - [Crowd Laughing] An ogre and a princess! [Laughing Continues] Shrek, is this true? Who cares? It's preposterous! Fiona, my love, we're but a kiss away from our happily ever after. Now kiss me! Mmmm!
Shrek
40.6s
Hmph. [Sighs] I'm sorry. I guess I am just a big, stupid, ugly ogre. Can you forgive me? Hey, that's what friends are for, right? Right. Friends? Friends. So, um, what did Fiona say about me? What are you asking me for? Why don't you just go ask her? The wedding! We'll never make it in time. Ha-ha-ha! Never fear, for where there's a will, there's a way, and I have a way. [Whistles]
Shrek
1m9s
Lord Farquaad, I accept. Nothing would make-- Excellent! I'll start the plans, for tomorrow we wed! No! I mean, uh, why wait? Let's get married today before the sun sets. Oh, anxious, are we? You're right. The sooner, the better. There's so much to do! There's the caterer, the cake, the band, the guest list. Captain, round up some guests! [Fiona] Fare-thee-well, ogre. Shrek, what are you doing? You're letting her get away. - Yeah? So what? - Shrek, there's something about her you don't know. Look, I talked to her last night. She's-- I know you talked to her last night. You're great pals, aren't ya? Now, if you two are such good friends, why don't you follow her home? Shrek, I-- I wanna go with you. I told you, didn't I? You're not coming home with me. I live alone! My swamp! Me! Nobody else! Understand? Nobody! Especially useless, pathetic, annoying, talking donkeys! - But I thought-- - Yeah. You know what? You thought wrong!
Shrek
1m51s
Donkey? - [Grunts] - What are you doing? I would think, of all people, you would recognise a wall when you see one. Well, yeah. But the wall's supposed to go around my swamp, not through it. It is around your half. See, that's your half, and this is my half. Oh! Your half. Hmm. Yes, my half. I helped rescue the princess. I did half the work, I get half the booty. Now hand me that big old rock, the one that looks like your head. - Back off! - No, you back off. - This is my swamp! - Our swamp. - Let go, Donkey! - You let go. - Stubborn jackass! - Smelly ogre. Fine! - Hey, come back here. I'm not through with you yet. - Well, I'm through with you. Uh-uh. You know, with you it's always, Me, me, me! Well, guess what! Now it's my turn! So you just shut up and pay attention! You are mean to me. You insult me and you don't appreciate anything that I do! You're always pushing me around or pushing me away. Oh, yeah? Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back? Because that's what friends do! They forgive each other! Oh, yeah. You're right, Donkey. I forgive you... for stabbing me in the back! Ohh! You're so wrapped up in layers, onion boy, you're afraid of your own feelings. - Go away! - There you are, doing it again just like you did to Fiona. All she ever do was like you, maybe even love you. Love me? She said I was ugly, a hideous creature. I heard the two of you talking. She wasn't talking about you. She was talking about, uh, somebody else. She wasn't talking about me? Well, then who was she talking about? Uh-uh, no way. I am not saying anything. You don't wanna listen to me. - Right? Right? - Donkey! - No! - Okay, look. I'm sorry, all right?
Shrek
28.6s
- [Laughing] - [Laughing] You think Shrek is your true love! What is so funny? Let's just say I'm not your type, okay? Of course, you are. You're my rescuer. Now-- Now remove your helmet. Look. I really don't think this is a good idea. -Just take off the helmet. - I'm not going to. - Take it off. - No! - Now! - Okay! Easy. As you command, Your Highness.
Shrek
2m4s
- [Belches] - Shrek! What? It's a compliment. Better out than in, I always say. [Laughs] - Well, it's no way to behave in front of a princess. - [Belches] - Thanks. - She's as nasty as you are. [Laughs] You know, you're not exactly what I expected. Maybe you shouldn't judge people before you get to know them. [Vocalising] [Man] La Liberte! Hey! Princess! - [Laughs] - What are you doing? Be still, Mon Cherie, for I am your saviour! And I am rescuing you from this green-- [Kissing Sounds] - beast. - Hey! That's my princess! Go find your own! Please, monster! Can't you see I'm a little busy here? Look, pal, I don't know who you think you are! Oh! Of course! Oh, how rude. Please let me introduce myself. Oh, Merry Men! [Laughs] [Accordion] Ta, dah, dah, dah, whoo I steal from the rich and give to the needy - He takes a wee percentage - But I'm not greedy I rescue pretty damsels Man, I'm good - What a guy, Monsieur Hood - Break it down. I like an honest fight and a saucy little maid - What he's basically saying is he likes to get-- - Paid - So - When an ogre in the bush grabs a lady by the tush - That's bad - That's bad When a beauty's with a beast it makes me awfully mad He's mad He's really, really mad I'll take my blade and ram it through your heart Keep your eyes on me, boys 'cause I'm about to start [Grunts, Groans] - [Karate Yell] - [Merry Men Gasping] [Panting] Man, that was annoying! Oh, you little-- [Karate Yell]
Shrek
2m24s
Oh, no. This is all wrong. You're not supposed to be an ogre. [Sighs] Princess, I was sent to rescue you by Lord Farquaad, okay? He's the one who wants to marry you. Then why didn't he come rescue me? Good question. You should ask him that when we get there. But I have to be rescued by my true love, not by some ogre and his-- his pet. So much for noble steed. You're not making my job any easier. I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem. You can tell Lord Farquaad that if he wants to rescue me properly, I'll be waiting for him right here. Hey! I'm no one's messenger boy, all right? I'm a delivery boy. You wouldn't dare. - Put me down! - Ya coming, Donkey? I'm right behind ya. Put me down, or you will suffer the consequences! This is not dignified! Put me down! [Screams] Okay, so here's another question. Say there's a woman that digs you, right, but you don't really like her that way. How do you let her down real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a crisp and eaten? You just tell her she's not your true love. Everyone knowest what happens when you find your-- Hey! [Sighs] The sooner we get to DuLoc the better. You're gonna love it there, Princess. It's beautiful! And what of my groom-to-be? Lord Farquaad? What's he like? Let me put it this way, Princess. Men of Farquaad's stature are in short supply. [Laughs] I don't know. There are those who think little of him. [Both Laughing] Stop it. Stop it, both of you. You're just jealous you can never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad. Yeah, well, maybe you're right, Princess. But I'll let you do the measuring when you see him tomorrow. Tomorrow? It'll take that Ion? - Shouldn't we stop to make camp? - No, that'll take longer. - We can keep going. - But there's robbers in the woods. Whoa! Time out, Shrek! Camping is starting to sound good. Hey, come on. I'm scarier than anything we're going to see in this forest. I need to find somewhere to camp now! [Bird Wings Fluttering]
Shrek
1m19s
- [Dragon Growling In The Distance] - You did it! You rescued me! You're amazing. You're-- You're wonderful. You're... a little unorthodox I'll admit. But thy deed is great, and thine heart is pure. - I am eternally in your debt. - [Clears Throat] And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed? I hope you heard that. She called me a noble steed. She think I'm a steed. [Fiona Laughs] The battle is won. You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight. - Uh, no. - Why not? I have helmet hair. Please. I would'st look upon the face of my rescuer. No, no, you wouldn't-- 'st. But how will you kiss me? What? That wasn't in the job description. Maybe it's a perk. No, it's destiny. Oh, you must know how it goes. A princess locked in a tower and beset by a dragon... is rescued by a brave knight, and then they share true love's first kiss. Hmm? With Shrek? You think-- Wait. Wait. You think that Shrek is your true love? Well, yes.
Shrek