Dirty Grandpa
Dirty Grandpa is a 2016 American buddy sports romantic sex comedy film about a lawyer who drives his grandfather to Florida during spring break. The film was directed by Dan Mazer and written by John Phillips. It stars Robert De Niro and Zac Efron in the leading roles, with Aubrey Plaza, Zoey Deutch, Julianne Hough and Dermot Mulroney in supporting roles. It was filmed on location in Atlanta from January 19 to May 9, 2015. The film was theatrically released on January 22, 2016, by Lionsgate. It grossed $105 million worldwide, and received negative reviews by critics, several of whom called it the worst film they had ever seen.
39.7s
- What? - I have to fuck that girl, Jason. - Jesus, Grandpa! - I do. I have to fuck her. Grandpa, you're just depressed. You're confused right now because of Grandma. Grandma wanted me to do this. - What? - Yeah. She said when she died, she wanted me to move on and live my life the way I wanted to, and right now, you know what I want to do? I want to get my dick sucked by that fucking college girl! What is that going to do for you? Is that going to make you feel young again? - Yeah! Yeah, what's wrong with that? - Yeah? Feeling young again? What do I have? A dead wife, dying friends. A few fucking good years left if I'm lucky. And you know what? It fucking freaks me out! Yeah.
Dirty Grandpa
22.1s
Look, I don't expect you to understand. You're young. You have a long, long time before you have to look into that abyss. But the way I see it, having sex with that girl is my last stand. And I can't do it without you. So I'm asking you. Please, Jason, just stay one more day so I can do this. Please.
Dirty Grandpa
1m43s
Okay, Daytona Beach! Who's ready for a Flex Off! I'm talking about dudes getting on stage, getting ripped! Yeah! Yes, I'll be home tomorrow. I promise. And I know... Yes, I know the dinner is important to the firm... Hold on, I'm getting another call. It might be Meredith. Okay? Bye. - Hello? - Hey, it's me. Someone just stuck their thumb up my ass. What? Yeah, I was just standing right there, talking on the phone, and someone came right up behind me and stuck their thumb up my ass. - Did you see who it was... - Jamba! Ow! Fuck! Stop doing that! - How'd it go on the home front? - How do you think? Come on. Let's go. Come on. Top Gun in the house! We got Maverick! We got Fat Goose! Do we have a challenger? - Right here! Right here! - These two! She wants to! - These two. - Pick her! Who will accept this challenge? You go up there, I'll let you do whatever you want to me tonight. - All right, I'm doing it. - All right! - What? - Whoo! - No, no, no! - Are you kidding me? I saw your body last night, it's a lot better than Cody's. And my body sure as shit looks better than that fucking Shamu's up there. There's 1,000 people out here! A lost old man has wandered on stage. - Are you his nurse? - No. Fuck no. Get on stage! Get on stage! Get on stage! Get on stage! Get on stage! Get on stage! - Do it for me! - Get on stage! Get on stage! So we have team Top Gun versus creepy old guy and his lesbian daughter.
Dirty Grandpa
25.3s
Uh-oh! Has the old man fallen? Or is it... One-armed motherfucking push-ups! Holy shit! Lesbian daughter's getting in on the action! I happen to know he smoked crack last night! These push-ups are fueled by the devil's candy! Unbelievable! Your move, Dolly Parton. What are you gonna do now, team Top Gun?
Dirty Grandpa
30.7s
And, hey, everybody, don't forget to stop by Tam Pam Surf Slam in town where I'm selling "beach towels" for 50 bucks an ounce. "Sun screen" for 10 bucks a dime bag. And I'm also selling meth! Oh! Just got married! Your move, Viagra Falls. Crowd going wild for team Top Gun! Grandpa, I got this. Watch! Most muscular, on three. One, two, three.
Dirty Grandpa
55.7s
Am I on drugs? Of course I am! This is too incredible! Flex Off history is being made! - What's up now, Brah? - Yeah, what's up now, Brah? Yeah, what's up now, Brah? 'Sup now, Brah? 'Sup now, Brah? 'Sup now, Brah? This is incredible! Take out your cameras! Put this online! This shit is going viral! Shit. Let me down. Did everybody get a picture of that? What the fuck are you doing? - I can't do this... - What? - God... - The winners of the Alpha Delta Flex Off... Wait a minute! Where are you going? - Guys? - Where are you going? Jason! You can't just leave me here like this. Why'd you stop? We were winning! Because I'm a lawyer! I can't have people taking pictures of me doing stuff like this. Can you imagine if the firm saw something like that? By default, the winner of the Flex Off is... - Bring the cup home, baby! - ...these two dildos.
Dirty Grandpa
32.7s
Every single day, my career's in jeopardy... - What are you doing? - I'm taking the regulator off the pneumatic propulsion system. Give me a beer. Grandpa, what did you really do for the army? - I told you, I was a mechanic. - Bullshit. You speak Arabic. You hot-wired a golf cart. Tell me the truth. All right, I was Special Forces! I trained insurgents behind enemy lines from Vietnam to Iraq. Now give me the fucking beer can! Come on! Look at this dummy! What an idiot!
Dirty Grandpa
30.5s
Okay. They're in the hospital till tomorrow! The room's ours for the night. Look at these fucking people. How was brunch at Hitler's house that day? Hey, Grandpa, who else in our family knows that you were, uh, Special Forces or whatever? No one, once your grandmother passed. Your father stopped talking to me before my missions were declassified. So he always thought I was just an army mechanic. But don't you think that you guys would get along a little better if you told him?
Dirty Grandpa