Major Payne

Major Payne is a 1995 American military comedy film directed by Nick Castle and starring Damon Wayans, who wrote with Dean Lorey and Gary Rosen. The film co-stars Karyn Parsons, Steven Martini, and Michael Ironside. It is a loose remake of the 1955 film The Private War of Major Benson, starring Charlton Heston. Major Payne was released in the United States on March 24 and grossed $30 million. Wayans plays a hardened military officer who, after being discharged, attempts to lead a dysfunctional group of youth cadets to victory in a competition.

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17.6s

One ! Don't you feel dumb ? Two ! Look at you. Three. Don't you ever make no jokes about me behind my back, otherwise I stomp you in the ground !

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2.1s

All right, ladies.

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14s

Hey, Dunne. You missed all the fun. Heh-heh. That's another rhyme. - All right, we're headin' out to the field... - There he is. for two hours of weapons drill. Yo, Payne !

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13.3s

You Payne ? I got somethin' to say to you. Fee-fi-fo-fum. What beanstalk you fall from ?

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21.5s

You know, I heard you've been givin' these boys a hard time. In fact, I heard you couldn't cut it... in the real man's military ! - I heard that it's time for you to leave. Know what I heard ? I heard your mother was so fat she played pool with the planets.

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5.7s

- Yes ! You thinkin' about leaving yet ?

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6.7s

Actually, I think the party just begun. Heh-heh-heh.

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9.3s

Now, what I'm goin' do is take this right foot... and I'm 'a put it 'cross the left side your face. - Don't give me that Billy Jack bullshit ! - Whoo !

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9s

Agh. Y-You said you were gonna-- hit me in the face. What, you callin' me a liar ?

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3.7s

Ooh !

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14.1s

Oh, children. Somebody's gonna answer for this blood from my lip. I want names. I wanna know who's responsible.

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10s

Don't all run at once. I guess nobody's responsible. Guess I just had that one a-comin'.

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28.9s

Well, you know what y'all got comin' ? Seven 23-hour days... full of fun and adventure. I'm gonna make you boys strong ! Sir. Yes, turd ? It was me, sir. I hired him. Well, that's one death warrant signed. Do I have any more volunteers ?

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8.8s

What about you, brown-nose ? I acted alone, sir. The rest of the squad was unaware of my activities.

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3.3s

That's a pretty bold move there, Mr. Stone.

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5.3s

What do you think I oughta do with you ? I don't know, sir.

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15.7s

You don't know. I guess you should probably expel me, sir. What, and send you on a vacation ? Dotson ! - Sir, yes, sir ! - You are no longer the squad leader.

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18.4s

Stone. You are now cadet sergeant. If these men win the Virginia Military Games, it'll be because you have led them to a victory. If they lose, it'll be because you failed them.

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3.9s

- I don't accept that responsibility. - It's not negotiable.

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10.8s

If I'm the new squad leader, my first order is to screw you, sir ! What'd you say to me, turd ? Why don't you go back to hell where you came from ?

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