Major Payne
Major Payne is a 1995 American military comedy film directed by Nick Castle and starring Damon Wayans, who wrote with Dean Lorey and Gary Rosen. The film co-stars Karyn Parsons, Steven Martini, and Michael Ironside. It is a loose remake of the 1955 film The Private War of Major Benson, starring Charlton Heston. Major Payne was released in the United States on March 24 and grossed $30 million. Wayans plays a hardened military officer who, after being discharged, attempts to lead a dysfunctional group of youth cadets to victory in a competition.
Shut up. All right. I got a surefire plan to get rid of that son of a bitch. - What is it ? - What ? What ? - It's gonna cost us. How much you got ? - Twenty. - I got 25. - Put me down for 40. - All right, Dotson ! - Yeah ! - Yeah ! All right, we're takin' out Payne tomorrow ! - Yeah ! - Yeah ! - Yeah !
Major Payne
Have you been reading the book ? I might have glanced at it once or twice. Oh, well, that's very good ! I'm very proud of you, Major. - Oh, shucks. It ain't hard bein' sensitive. - He's back ! He's back ! - Who's back ? The man who lives in my closet. Aw, boy, get on outta here with that "I'm scared of the dark" crap. Go on, now. Git ! Sensitive.
Major Payne
Sensitive. You call that being sensitive ? Let me give you a little history on Kevin Dunne. - Both of his parents are dead. - Car accident, 1989. Lived in the Chelsea orphanage 'til 1991 when the school adopted him. I know all about it. Well, then you should also know that the last thing he needs right now... is a sadistic father figure scaring the life out of him.
Major Payne
Maybe what he need... is for you to pop your titty out his mouth... and let the boy grow up. Excuse me ? What did you say ? I didn't stutter. I said: "Pop your titty out his mouth... and stop babyin' him !" I don't call it babying. I call it nurturing. And I call it neutering ! And I call you an insecure, overbearing, psychopathic, dictatorial, egomaniacal, frigid, lunatic asshole ! I ain't frigid. He's still there !
Major Payne
Let's go, maggots. Follow my lead ! Payne's not here He's in our ass Payne's not here He's in our ass Butt's so tight he can't pass gas Butt's so tight he can't pass gas - Sound off - One, two - Sound off - Three, four Break it on down Break it on down Break it on down Break it down You like to rhyme, boy ? What's your name ? Bushwick Bill ? No, let me guess. You Snoop Diggety Dogg. Turds ! Front leanin' rest position. Move ! I'm 'a teach you how I rhyme military style !
Major Payne