How could you guys not tell me this whole time that I was your DUFF? - Our what? - Your Designated Ugly Fat Friend. Yeah, yeah. Wesley told me everything. Ha, ha. He can't even spell. That's actually pretty creative for Wes. Since when do you care what Wesley Rush says? He says crazy stuff all the time. Uh, because it makes sense. I mean, why else would two super-hot, popular girls wanna be friends with somebody like me? It's because you're using me to make yourselves look better. Okay, just because you think one of us is better-looking than you... Oh, my God. There it is, there it is. You know what? No, no, no. I'm glad you said that, because it makes what I'm about to do a whole lot easier.
The DUFF
58.3s
- You're listening at the door again? - Yes, I was. This is juicy stuff. Now it all makes sense. Mom, I've been through all of your stages, okay? I am already at the fifth and final stage: acceptance. Honey, forget about the five stages. I have got some real advice for you. We're gonna call it, uh, stage 11. Yeah, it's sort of acceptance plus, where you realize who you are, you accept it, and then you, um, turn it up to 11. Is that supposed to be Robert Pattinson? No, Spinal Tap. The movie, Spinal Tap. "This one goes to 11." Let's stop. All right, honey, you're a weirdo. Fine, own it. Be the best weirdo you can be. You have spent the last month worrying so much about what other people think about you. How about tonight you just worry about what you think about you? Now, I want you to get cleaned up, I want you to go to that dance, and rock that homecoming like my Bianca Piper would.
The DUFF
2.6s
What the shit?
The DUFF
17.3s
The point is, we're a team. If anything, we're kind of chumps in comparison to you. Okay, now you went too far. You had me and then you lost me. Oh, no, she's right, B. You are by far the smartest one of the three of us. You're loyal, you're funny. And we can't be Bianca, Jess and Casey without Bianca.
The DUFF
8.6s
I promise, I didn't send the video, okay? I overheard Madison bragging about it to her friends. I mean, the angles weren't even from where I was sitting.
The DUFF
8.6s
I didn't regret hitting "send," but I did regret how I left things with Jess and Casey. So all of this because of some word?
The DUFF
1.2s
Too long.
The DUFF
9s
Oh, no. That was a good one. - You are a phenomenal kisser. - Ha-ha-ha. - Thank you. That's how we like it. - What is that?
The DUFF
15.6s
Oh, no, no. Dear God, it's "duck face," and stop that forever. All right. I'm just trying to get more of these thingies, these, uh, flirties. Hmm. This is a tough conversation for me. Let's focus on the picture. Uh, here we go.
The DUFF
8.8s
Ooh. Showtime. And for me, it happened senior year, about a month before homecoming. I was cruising the halls with my two best friends. Jess Harris.
The DUFF
1.8s
Sorry.
The DUFF
9.2s
- I would play "Call of Duty" with her... - Yeah. - ...all night. - Wait, what? And bang her hard too, to the point of needing helmets. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That too, yeah.
The DUFF
4.8s
Nope, not me, either. Shaw's over. Just Bianca.
The DUFF
4.2s
Yeah, that's not me. Casey Cordero.
The DUFF
4.2s
Martin Van Buren. Nickelback. Antidisestablishmentarianism.
The DUFF
14.3s
Okay. Mini Stalin, dead ahead. Meet Madison Morgan. As she would tell you herself, she's the hottest girl in school. Even the gay guys wanna date her. I would totally bang the shit out of her. But I Wouldn't like it.