Found 1390 results
17.8s
Let's just do it! This could be, like, a doorway to a whole new life, where we have it all. We have fun and a baby. That's fantastic! This is the moment! I need this! This is the moment. Let's do it. Okay. I need to go out! Let's go! Let's go! All right. I'm down. Little chicken. Come on! Baby's first rave. Baby's first rave. Baby's first rave. Baby's first rave.
Neighbors
1m6s
Hey! Ma'am! Chill out, chill out! They are dangerous to the neighborhood! There's a clear focus going on here. I heard they burned down their last house. And they were reprimanded for that. We have a very strict three-strike policy at this school. So, they have one strike. If they get two more, then they're out. A strike? Well, listen, the way I do my job is, you know, I'm always thinking about the headlines, right? So, "Duke Lacrosse Team Rapes Stripper." Bad headline. "Fraternity Keeps Couple Awake"? That's not really even a headline. I don't even think it would make the local police blotter. Get ready to read the headline of the century. Extra, extra! "Baby Swallows Condom!" That's disgusting! Exactly! It's the frat's condom! That's the frat's condom! I have a headline for this. "Fraternity Practices Safe Sex." That's a good headline. I could get a raise off that headline. I got a headline for you. "Mean Dean Doesn't Realize That Frat ls Bad For Everyone." It's really not. It's very poorly worded. I don't think that would ever make it to print. I don't know where you went to school. I went here, okay? That's why I'm dumb! You know what? I just thought of another headline. "Negligent Parents Allow Baby to Swallow Condom."
Neighbors
41.8s
How's Stella? She's a cute baby. It's nice. I think I realized for the first six months, everything is fucked. Everything changes completely. Yeah. You're like, "My life is over! Everything's different! "Everything I could do, I can't do anymore." But now, I realize that that's all gonna go back to normal. You sure about that? She can start drinking soon. They make these little strips that test your tit milk for alcohol. She puts them on her tits? Yeah, she puts them on her tits. Her tits are huge right now. Are they really? But I can't touch them. She won't even let me see them, is what's fucked up. What? When we have sex, she leaves a wife-beater on. It's like having sex with Tony Soprano. You're the goomah in this situation. Yeah, it's fucked up. You are the only one of our friends that has a house and a kid. Yeah. It's like you're, like, 10 years older than everyone, you know? You're divorced. The point is...
Neighbors
25.6s
Wait. Shit! Diaper bag! It needs to be restocked. I gotta get more shit. Okay. Okay. You know what? She needs an extra Onesie in case she craps herself. I think I better pump. You gotta pump? I think I need to pump. She wants your necklace. Give me your necklace. Now, go pump. We should get the cooler. Okay, here we go. Wait. If we're bringing the swing, let's just bring the Jumperoo. We have room. I think we have room. Butt Paste. I don't know where the Butt Paste is. I don't know where it is. Binky, Binky, Binky. I don't know where the Binky is. Binky's over here. I got Binky.
Neighbors
30.8s
We're hip. "Oh, they're like us. "This could be us in a few years." Yes, respect. They'll want us to like them. Yeah. Then we say, "By the way, keep it down." Exactly. Well, we won't say it like that. We'll just... No, of course not. I'll say it. Like, we'll just... You know, "Keep it down." You're doing it a little weird. Do it again. Do it normal. Yeah. Like... I'll throw it away. Just throw it away. Just like, you know, "If you could just keep it down." Just say it normal! I can get it! It's an important, key phrase here. All right, you do it. You do it. Okay, watch. I'm just gonna do it like this. "Keep it down."
Neighbors