Found 592 results
33.8s
Okay, it's happening. It's spontaneous. This... Who saw this coming? I did not see this coming. Okay, okay, okay. Okay, let's do it. Okay. It's happening. It's totally happening. Whoo! What a twist. Oh, yeah. Okay. This is so spontaneous. We're having sex one minute... Who knows what's gonna happen next? Who knows what we'll be doing in 10 minutes? Okay. This is crazy! We're doing this on the dining room... I've never had sex on a dining room chair in my whole life. This is amazing. I'm taking you to Boner Town, bitch. Don't call me "bitch!" Okay. I'm sorry. I'm taking you to Boner Town, love. Okay.
Neighbors
41.8s
How's Stella? She's a cute baby. It's nice. I think I realized for the first six months, everything is fucked. Everything changes completely. Yeah. You're like, "My life is over! Everything's different! "Everything I could do, I can't do anymore." But now, I realize that that's all gonna go back to normal. You sure about that? She can start drinking soon. They make these little strips that test your tit milk for alcohol. She puts them on her tits? Yeah, she puts them on her tits. Her tits are huge right now. Are they really? But I can't touch them. She won't even let me see them, is what's fucked up. What? When we have sex, she leaves a wife-beater on. It's like having sex with Tony Soprano. You're the goomah in this situation. Yeah, it's fucked up. You are the only one of our friends that has a house and a kid. Yeah. It's like you're, like, 10 years older than everyone, you know? You're divorced. The point is...
Neighbors
1m6s
Hey! Ma'am! Chill out, chill out! They are dangerous to the neighborhood! There's a clear focus going on here. I heard they burned down their last house. And they were reprimanded for that. We have a very strict three-strike policy at this school. So, they have one strike. If they get two more, then they're out. A strike? Well, listen, the way I do my job is, you know, I'm always thinking about the headlines, right? So, "Duke Lacrosse Team Rapes Stripper." Bad headline. "Fraternity Keeps Couple Awake"? That's not really even a headline. I don't even think it would make the local police blotter. Get ready to read the headline of the century. Extra, extra! "Baby Swallows Condom!" That's disgusting! Exactly! It's the frat's condom! That's the frat's condom! I have a headline for this. "Fraternity Practices Safe Sex." That's a good headline. I could get a raise off that headline. I got a headline for you. "Mean Dean Doesn't Realize That Frat ls Bad For Everyone." It's really not. It's very poorly worded. I don't think that would ever make it to print. I don't know where you went to school. I went here, okay? That's why I'm dumb! You know what? I just thought of another headline. "Negligent Parents Allow Baby to Swallow Condom."
Neighbors