Ted 2
Ted 2 (stylized as ted2) is a 2015 American fantasy comedy film directed by Seth MacFarlane and written by MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin, and Wellesley Wild. It is the sequel to Ted. The film follows the talking teddy bear Ted (voiced by MacFarlane) as he fights for his civil rights in order to be recognized as a person and not as property. The film also stars Mark Wahlberg, Amanda Seyfried, Giovanni Ribisi, Jessica Barth, John Slattery, and Morgan Freeman. Principal photography began in Massachusetts in July 2014. Ted 2 was released on June 26, 2015, by Universal Pictures. Despite the film failing to achieve the critical and commercial success of its predecessor, it still became a box office success, grossing $215.9 million on a $68 million budget. In January 2024, a prequel television series began streaming on Peacock.
You want Flash Gordon to father your child? Yeah, I mean, do you think... Would that be weird? Would he be freaked out if I... No, I think he'd be flattered! And plus, your baby will be a fucking superhero! Well, that was the logic I arrived at as well. Yeah, I say do it! All right. I'll shoot him an e-mail right now, and see if I can stop by tonight. You come with me? Sure. All right, great.
Ted 2
(SHOUTS) What the fuck? Holy shit! Dude, what's the matter? Vvhathappened? What's going on? There's so much porn! Well, what the hell are you doing looking at my private shit? What are you talking about, "private shit"? Johnny, it was wide open! There are literally thousands of files here! Well, I've been meaning to clear some of that out. Jesus Christ. Look at the organization here! Clockwise rim job. Counterclockwise rim job! Yeah, well, sometimes you like seeing the tongue go the other way! You sick bastard! Look at this! Chicks with dicks?
Ted 2
Oh, my God! (SOBS) I have a disease, all right? I need help! There are no chicks with dicks, Johnny! Only guys with tits! Oh, this is such a relief! I'm so glad I'm finally caught. I wanted to be caught! Johnny, now you listen to me. This is a wake-up call, all right? You got to get back out there and meet somebody because you are spiraling out of control here. All right, fine, I will. Just stop looking at that shit, please! Johnny, I mean it. All right? The next chick you meet, you are getting back in the game. Fine, I got it. Done. All right. Now, let's get rid of this. What do you mean? We'll just delete the files! No,no,no. That shit can always be recovered. We got to smash your laptop with a hammer.
Ted 2
Johnny, please, just help me do this. Okay? He's the only guy in the world whose sperm is even close to Flash Gordon's. Ted, it's insane. We could get in a lot of trouble. But not if nobody finds out. Look, look, John, John. We sneak into his house, jerk him off in his sleep and sneak out with the sperm. It'll be easy!
Ted 2