Ted 2

Ted 2 (stylized as ted2) is a 2015 American fantasy comedy film directed by Seth MacFarlane and written by MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin, and Wellesley Wild. It is the sequel to Ted. The film follows the talking teddy bear Ted (voiced by MacFarlane) as he fights for his civil rights in order to be recognized as a person and not as property. The film also stars Mark Wahlberg, Amanda Seyfried, Giovanni Ribisi, Jessica Barth, John Slattery, and Morgan Freeman. Principal photography began in Massachusetts in July 2014. Ted 2 was released on June 26, 2015, by Universal Pictures. Despite the film failing to achieve the critical and commercial success of its predecessor, it still became a box office success, grossing $215.9 million on a $68 million budget. In January 2024, a prequel television series began streaming on Peacock.

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Jesus Christ.

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(SIGHS)

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You two still not talking? No. Honest to God, Joy, I don't know how to fix this. I mean, how the hell do you take a broken marriage and make it work again? Well, I'll tell you one way. You have yourselves a baby. A baby? Uh-huh. Look at that. You see them two white niggas over there? (INDISTINCT) Yeah. What? Look at them. They're so happy. Because they got that little baby keeping them together. If they didn't have that baby, they'd just be two sad-ass white niggas waiting for Downtown Abbey to come on.

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Why, you said it twice. Is that an actual phrase? I'm telling you, Ted, y'all better have a baby or your marriage is over. Trust.

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(PRICING GUN CLICKING)

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Uh, hey.

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Go away, Teddy. Tami, listen, I just wanna talk to you. Okay? Will you just listen to me for one second? Why? So you can give me shit about my clothes? No!Look, I'm sorry about that, okay? I'm sorry. I was an asshole and I didn't mean it. You know, whatever, Teddy. Tami, (SIGHS) listen. I love you.

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Okay? And... And I don't want us to fight like we've been doing the past few months. I don't know, Teddy. Something's got to change, you know? Because I can't do this no more. It's too much. I know, I know, I know. And... And that's why...

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I wanna have a baby.

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You do? Yeah. A baby? Like really? Yeah. See, I think, if we got a kid to love, it'll teach us how to love each other again.

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Oh, my God, Teddy.

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You better not be messing with me. I swear to God, not messing with you. I think you'd make an awesome mom. Oh, my God! Are you kidding me? I would, like, kick so much ass at mommin'! (CHUCKLES) So what do you say? We all good? Yes! Oh, I love you! I love you so much! Oh, baby, I love you, too! (SMOOCHES)

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Let's make a baby! Let's make a baby! (EXCLAIMS) (KISSES)

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(FLICKING LIGHTER)

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Okay, you ready? Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here it comes. Okay, okay. I'm ready. (JOHN HUMMING) TED: (SINGING) Let's all go to court Let's go make some law now Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Some law now I say we go to court! JOHN: Yes, let's go to court! TED: We're a bunch of assholes who take up a whole hallway with our conversation.

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(SINGING) Hey, you lawyer guys You don't know me and Johnny are watching you While we're high That was fucking magic. That felt smooth. That felt really smooth. Oh! So in the pocket.

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Hey, so, uh, listen, lgot, uh... I got some big news to tell ya.

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Oh, yeah? What's that? Tami-Lynn and I are gonna have a baby!

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Holy shit! You? (CHUCKLES) Yeah, yeah, we talked about it today. Dude, that's fucking awesome! Congratulations! Thank you! Wait, wait, wait. How... How... How do you guys... VVeH,yeah,thafsthe thing. We... We, uh... We got to find a sperm donor.

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And, um, I'm wondering, what do you think Sam Jones would say if I asked him?

Ted 2