Ted 2

Ted 2 (stylized as ted2) is a 2015 American fantasy comedy film directed by Seth MacFarlane and written by MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin, and Wellesley Wild. It is the sequel to Ted. The film follows the talking teddy bear Ted (voiced by MacFarlane) as he fights for his civil rights in order to be recognized as a person and not as property. The film also stars Mark Wahlberg, Amanda Seyfried, Giovanni Ribisi, Jessica Barth, John Slattery, and Morgan Freeman. Principal photography began in Massachusetts in July 2014. Ted 2 was released on June 26, 2015, by Universal Pictures. Despite the film failing to achieve the critical and commercial success of its predecessor, it still became a box office success, grossing $215.9 million on a $68 million budget. In January 2024, a prequel television series began streaming on Peacock.

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Oh, so what are we gonna do now? I mean, we can't take this lying down, right? We got to do something.

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You know what we're gonna do? We're gonna oall Patrick Meighan. Who's that?

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Heisthetop civil rights attorney in America. Wait. Is he the one who got that female midget into the Marines? Yeah. Yeah, that had a sad ending though, you remember? She was at a Veterans Day parade, and somebody handed her a bunch of balloons and... (WHOOSHES) Gone! It was very sad. Very sad for the family. You know what? If anyone oan get this verdict overturned, it's him. He's not cheap, but we've become such a high profile case, lfeelhke he might take it pro bono. He's a sucker for media.

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Hey, Johnny, how about a beer, huh? Yeah, that's a good idea.

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Hi, I'm calling for Patrick Meighan. This is Samantha Jackson. I defended Ted Clubber Lang in Ted v. Massachusetts.

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Hey! Hi, Mr. Meighan. Thank you so much for taking my call.

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(JOHN GRUNTING) Oh, you've been following the case. That's great.

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Yeah, that's actually why I'm calling. (BOTH GRUNTING) Yeah, I was wondering if, um, maybe you would consider helping us try to overturn the verdict.

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Well, yeah. I mean, it would have to be a pro bono situation because we're not really working with much money. But I think you'll be impressed with my client. Oh! Ha-ha! Motherfucker! Sure. Yeah, great. Okay. Thank you so much! Okay, I'll see you then.Bye.

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Oh, my God! He said he'll meet with us on Friday at 9:00 a.m. at his office in New York. Is he gonna take the case? I don't want to jinx it, but I think so. Oh, my God! You hear that, Johnny? (LAUGHS) I still get a shot! JOHN: Yes! Oh, my God! We got to celebrate! Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Let's go down to the improv and yell sad suggestions? Fuck yeah! So first we need a historical event. Who's got an event? TED: 9/11. (STUTTERS) Okay, maybe something else. All right, let's start with a person. JOHN: Robin Williams! Okay, all right, for real, guys, for real. Who's got a person? TED: Robin Williams on 9/11. All right, we've heard from these guys. Let's maybe give somebody else over here a chance. How about a location? Let's go with a location. TED: The offices of Charlie Hebdo.

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Okay, seriously, sir, uh, I just need alocafion. JOHN: Ferguson, Missouri. TED: Germanwings cockpit. Okay, I heard "Starbucks." TED: No, you didn't. JOHN: Nobody said "Starbucks." All right, Starbucks. Okay, now, who's in the Starbucks? TED: Bill Cosby. You people are monsters.

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JOHN: We're giving you the tools, buddy. Come on, make some fucking comedy.

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All right. We'll be back tomorrow afternoon. I love you so much, Teddy. You go kick some ass because I am not taking off this wedding ring. I love you too, baby. I'll see you soon.

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(HIP-HOP PLAYING ON STEREO)

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(SINGING) If you wanna sit there with a pie of meat Just fuck your own brother in the front seat Oh, why can't you just say please? Hey! Must be the money Hey, Sam, why do you have a duffel bag that says "Arizona State"? Because that's where I went to school. What, you went to Arizona State? Yeah, why? Oh, man, that's why we lost the case. Hello? You're dicks. Arizona State. Hey, how many times you been fucked on a houseboat? (LAUGHING) (LAUGHING) Oh, come on. Did you write your dissertation on the collected works of, uh, Red Bull? Yeah. Yeah, I did. I got an A on it.

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TED: So do you say "Arizona State University" or do you just say "HPVU"?

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This is perfect. We're gonna get to the city before 10:00.

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Hey, Sam, how's your boring salad? Mmm, it's actually delicious. Everybody always says that about their salad. They're all a bunch of fucking liars. No, I love it. It's really good. Have some Cookie Crisp. You need something nutritional. Why do you think I want your Cookie Crisp? Because you've been staring at it, and you want it. Hey, what's the deal here? You guys ever gonna make out or what?

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Teddy, come on, dude! No, I'm just saying. You look like you're hitting it off, you know?

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Sam, you dig him, right?

Ted 2