Ted 2

Ted 2 (stylized as ted2) is a 2015 American fantasy comedy film directed by Seth MacFarlane and written by MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin, and Wellesley Wild. It is the sequel to Ted. The film follows the talking teddy bear Ted (voiced by MacFarlane) as he fights for his civil rights in order to be recognized as a person and not as property. The film also stars Mark Wahlberg, Amanda Seyfried, Giovanni Ribisi, Jessica Barth, John Slattery, and Morgan Freeman. Principal photography began in Massachusetts in July 2014. Ted 2 was released on June 26, 2015, by Universal Pictures. Despite the film failing to achieve the critical and commercial success of its predecessor, it still became a box office success, grossing $215.9 million on a $68 million budget. In January 2024, a prequel television series began streaming on Peacock.

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What, is there a problem? Well, you know, I just don't want my lawyer singing Frozen songs during the opening arguments. It's just this is a really important case. Ted has already lost his job, his marriage has been annulled. I know. My uncle gave me all the details. Right. You see, the thing is, we don't want to take any chances because the stakes are so significant. We can't just rush into anything. We got to make sure we're making the right decision. TED: We really appreciate your time, but I think what we're probably gonna do is just take a seat and get to work. Trust you completely. Yeah, we really feel like you got a lot to offer.

Ted 2

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Sorry. You don't mind the pot, do you? I get migraines. Oh, absolutely, me, too. That's fine. I'm gonna get a huge migraine in the parking lot in about 2O minutes. Oh, I'm Samantha Jackson. Ted. How are ya? Good to meet you. John. Nice to meet you. Wait, wait, wait. What's your middle name?

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Leslie.

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Oh, my God! So you're Sam L. Jackson! (LAUGHS) That's fucking great! Just like Sam L. Jackson! Who is that? You ever seen any movie ever? He's the black guy.

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(INHALING)

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That weed is really good. It reminds me of the strain I smoked last summer called "Here Comes Autism."

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Yeah, I was just gonna say it's sort of like this other batch we had called "How Long Has That Van Been There?"

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No, it's this new strain my dealer gave me called "Help Me Get Home." You know, I'm surprised a lawyer like you gets high. I mean, aren't you supposed to be fighting the War on Drugs and all that shit?

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Please, the VVar on Drugs is a joke. It's just a way for the government to inflate law enforcement budgets and lock up minorities for no good legal reason. And you, my friend, are an oppressed minority. Yeah. No shit. They've denied you the same rights s everybody else just because you're different, and I say that's a violation of the Constitution.

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So what do you say? Can you get me my life back? (BUBBLING)

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I'm gonna try.

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JOHN: Hey, guys? (BREATHING HEAVILY) I'm having some trouble over here.

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What's the matter?

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Can you help me get home?

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(SOBBING) I'm having a really hard time here, guys. TED: Johnny, it's okay, buddy. It's okay. You're doing fine. You're doing great. No, I'm scared. All right. I know. Come on, it's okay, though. You just have to hang onto the wall.

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(HORN HONKS) (SCREAMS) Don't let the goose get me!

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How far away does he live?

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Uh, about a mile-and-a-half. Fuck, okay. Hey, it's okay. One foot in front of the other.

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(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

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All right, I got Dred Scott v. Sandford, Plessy v. Ferguson and Brown v. the Board of Education. I got Kramer vs. Kramer, Alien vs. Predator, and Freddy vs. Jason. I got, uh, Ernest Goes to Camp, Ernest Goes to Jail and The Importance of Being Earnest, which was very disappointing.

Ted 2