Ted 2

Ted 2 (stylized as ted2) is a 2015 American fantasy comedy film directed by Seth MacFarlane and written by MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin, and Wellesley Wild. It is the sequel to Ted. The film follows the talking teddy bear Ted (voiced by MacFarlane) as he fights for his civil rights in order to be recognized as a person and not as property. The film also stars Mark Wahlberg, Amanda Seyfried, Giovanni Ribisi, Jessica Barth, John Slattery, and Morgan Freeman. Principal photography began in Massachusetts in July 2014. Ted 2 was released on June 26, 2015, by Universal Pictures. Despite the film failing to achieve the critical and commercial success of its predecessor, it still became a box office success, grossing $215.9 million on a $68 million budget. In January 2024, a prequel television series began streaming on Peacock.

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Okay. I'm gonna ask you a few test questions. Are you ready? Yep, bring it on. You're on the stand, the DA says, "Ted, do you consider yourself to be human?" Objection! Sustained! No, the witness can't object. Overruled! Sidebar? Guilty! Speculation! Hearsay! Briefcase! Bailiff! Disregard! In my chambers! Stop beavering the witness! I rest. We could totally be lawyers. Bang.

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(INAUDIBLE)

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Oh, my God! I'm gonna fall off the building.

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Your name is Toby! You're going to learn to say your name. Let me hear you say it.

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What's your name?

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(BREATHING SHAKILY) Kunta. Kunta Kinte.

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That's just like me. That's exactly what I'm going through. Well, it's a little different.

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You know, Ted, if you legally become a person, you're gonna need a last name.

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Oh, yeah, you're right. Okay, okay, I got one. Okay, what is it?

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Clubber Lang.

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Who is Clubber Lang? Who's Clubber Lang? Mr. T's character in Rocky Ill. Hello?

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Is that the boxing movies?

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(SHOUTS) The boxing... You've never seen Rocky? She's not serious. You've never seen Rocky? You know... (IMITATING ROCKY SOUNDTRACK)

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You know, Rocky! I'm not gonna remember a movie I've never seen justbecause you're singing a song I don't know. You don't know Samuel L. Jackson, you don't know Rocky. You are literally pop culture illiterate. I have a college degree. My pop culture references are Hamlet, Achilles and Dorian Gray. Ever heard of any of them? No, but I'm pretty sure Mr. T could kick their ass! Yeah, Sam, you really need to be educated. Oh, really? Um, can either of you tell me who wrote The Great Gatsby?

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Judy Blume? Hitler? F. Scott Fitzgerald. Who's that?

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The author. Why are you saying, "Fuck him"? What? You just said "Eff Scott Fitzgerald." What did Scott Fitzgerald do to you? Yeah. No, that's his first name.

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His name's "Fuck Scott Fitzgerald"? What? No. Well, then, what's the "F" stand for? Francis. No. It's got to be "Fuck." It must be "Fuck." It's got to be "Fuck." It has to be "Fuck." Why the hell would it be "Fuck"? Well, because otherwise, why wouldn't he just say it? Yeah, he's hiding something. It's "Fuck." Come on, read between the “nee, Sam. We “F uck.“ (LAUGHS) That's completely insane. You guys are idiots. Yeah, well, whatever. Ted Clubber Lang. Get used to it.

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(KNOCKING ON DOOR) Yes!

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Sir?

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Um, one of the janitors would like to see you.

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