Ted 2

Ted 2 (stylized as ted2) is a 2015 American fantasy comedy film directed by Seth MacFarlane and written by MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin, and Wellesley Wild. It is the sequel to Ted. The film follows the talking teddy bear Ted (voiced by MacFarlane) as he fights for his civil rights in order to be recognized as a person and not as property. The film also stars Mark Wahlberg, Amanda Seyfried, Giovanni Ribisi, Jessica Barth, John Slattery, and Morgan Freeman. Principal photography began in Massachusetts in July 2014. Ted 2 was released on June 26, 2015, by Universal Pictures. Despite the film failing to achieve the critical and commercial success of its predecessor, it still became a box office success, grossing $215.9 million on a $68 million budget. In January 2024, a prequel television series began streaming on Peacock.

Video-background
10s
It's always gonna be empty. There's never gonna be a little foot in here. I don't understand. We would have made such great parents. (INHALES) Oh, my God.

Ted 2

Video-background
19.5s
Oh, my God, Teddy! (STUTTERS) What? What's wrong? Look at this. (SOBBING) "Dear Ted, "the state of Massachusetts regrets to inform you "that due to an oversight regarding your legal status "your marriage to Tami-Lynn McCafferty is unrecognized by the state "and, therefore, invalid and hereby annulled."

Ted 2

Video-background
3.1s
Teddy, can they do this to us? Let me see that.

Ted 2

Video-background
1.8s
This is a nightmare.

Ted 2

Video-background
14.2s
You fucking believe that? No. This is insane. I mean, Tami's the woman I love. You know, I never would even have tried to adopt a dog if I had known it was gonna cause me this kind of shit storm. This whole thing is complete bullshit. I mean, if you ask me, we got to fight it.

Ted 2

Video-background
2.1s
What do you mean? I mean, we get a lawyer.

Ted 2

Video-background
24.4s
Oh, my God. Can we do that? Hell yeah! You know what we do? We'll get a lawyer and we'll sue the fucking government for your civil rights! Johnny, that's a great idea! Hey, hey! Maybe we get one of them Harrison Ford lawyers who gets shot in the head, then turns all retarded and nice and goes, "What we're doing is wrong." Yes. You know what, we get out there and we stick it to them good. We take that shit all the way up to Judge Judy if we have to. Yeah. But we don't know any lawyers. All our friends make sandwiches. Ah. Oh, we just Google "Boston lawyers."

Ted 2

Video-background
2.3s
Jesus. Look at that black cock.

Ted 2

Video-background
1.2s
Uh...

Ted 2

Video-background
7.9s
This is a very complicated case you have here. Most civil rights oases are, but this one has some very obvious wrinkles.

Ted 2

Video-background
8.1s
Well, everybody says you're the best in town. Listen, your case is not gonna be cheap. What is your financial situation?

Ted 2

Video-background
17.3s
Uh, all of our holdings are tied up in the railroads. Yeah, Reading Railroad, 5&0 Railroad, Pennsylvania Railroad. We're working on Short Line. Urn, I own Atlantic Avenue and Marvin Gardens. And I own four houses on Baltic Ave. I was thinking about just tearing them down and building a hotel. I won second prize in a beauty contest. That's $50 right there. Are you guys just saying Monopoly stuff?

Ted 2

Video-background
18.3s
Tell you what, I'm gonna go drive around the blook, and I'll be back with $200. I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. My niece recently passed her bar exam and I've hired her on as a junior associate here at the firm. I could assign her to your case, pro bono. And then you would get a hungry, young attorney and I would get a more experienced lawyer in return.

Ted 2

Video-background
1.4s
So what do you say to that?

Ted 2

Video-background
2.2s
Yeah, sure, sounds great.

Ted 2

Video-background
2.4s
Um, are those hard candies, like, just to take?

Ted 2

Video-background
2s
Uh, those aren't supposed to be out.

Ted 2

Video-background
3.4s
Hello? (BANGING) on! Fuck!

Ted 2

Video-background
12.3s
Hi. You Okay? Yeah! I'm fine. You must be Ted. Yeah. Uh, I'm Ted, this is my buddy, John. Hi. Um, my uncle says that you guys are my first clients.

Ted 2

Video-background
8.2s
Uh, it's been discussed, but do you mind if I ask how old you are? I'm 26. Ah.

Ted 2