Ted 2

Ted 2 (stylized as ted2) is a 2015 American fantasy comedy film directed by Seth MacFarlane and written by MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin, and Wellesley Wild. It is the sequel to Ted. The film follows the talking teddy bear Ted (voiced by MacFarlane) as he fights for his civil rights in order to be recognized as a person and not as property. The film also stars Mark Wahlberg, Amanda Seyfried, Giovanni Ribisi, Jessica Barth, John Slattery, and Morgan Freeman. Principal photography began in Massachusetts in July 2014. Ted 2 was released on June 26, 2015, by Universal Pictures. Despite the film failing to achieve the critical and commercial success of its predecessor, it still became a box office success, grossing $215.9 million on a $68 million budget. In January 2024, a prequel television series began streaming on Peacock.

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Wait, what?

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The state official I spoke to said that technically, you are classified as property.

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I'm not a person?

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Not according to the government. I'm sorry. But that is so fucked up!

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You know what, Teddy? Let's get out of here.

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Come on. (SIGHS)

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Look. You seem like good people. Be careful. What do you mean, "Be careful"? The state official I spoke to made it sound like your status had gone under the radar for some time.

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Your adoption request may have raised some red flags.

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If they choose to investigate the issue, it may leave you quite vulnerable.

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Hey. I just got off work and heard your message. Is that for real? Did they actually tell you that? Yeah, it's unbelievable. "Property." They said I'm property.

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What does that even mean? Like, you're a thing? What, like garbage or a piece of shit?

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I mean, maybe more like a hammer or an orange, but yeah. What the hell do they know? It's just a word. They can't change your whole life just by calling you property! Bullshit! You better ask my ancestors. One minute, you in Africa, washing your clothes in the river, titties out. You good. Then all of a sudden, you somewhere across the world, fucking Thomas Jefferson. Wow! You make history come alive. Why the hell is this just coming up now?

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I mean, I've never voted. I don't have a driver's license, I don't pay taxes. I mean, hell, this is the firstjob I ever had.

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Ted, can I see you for a moment?

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I'm sorry, but I'm gonna havetolet you go. What? Why? I've been busting my ass at this job for three years!

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I just got a call from the Labor Department.

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I can't legally keep you on as an employee because I've been informed that you're technically... Technically not a person. Yeah. Jesus Christ!

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I'm sorry. But as of today, you're fired.

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(SIGHS)

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"Dear Ted, your Chase bank account "has been terminated due to a lack of citizenship." "Dear Ted, your Discover card has been revoked." "Dear Ted, you are no longer a Papa Gino's rewards member." Fuck, that's a big one. This poor baby bootie.

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