Ted 2

Ted 2 (stylized as ted2) is a 2015 American fantasy comedy film directed by Seth MacFarlane and written by MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin, and Wellesley Wild. It is the sequel to Ted. The film follows the talking teddy bear Ted (voiced by MacFarlane) as he fights for his civil rights in order to be recognized as a person and not as property. The film also stars Mark Wahlberg, Amanda Seyfried, Giovanni Ribisi, Jessica Barth, John Slattery, and Morgan Freeman. Principal photography began in Massachusetts in July 2014. Ted 2 was released on June 26, 2015, by Universal Pictures. Despite the film failing to achieve the critical and commercial success of its predecessor, it still became a box office success, grossing $215.9 million on a $68 million budget. In January 2024, a prequel television series began streaming on Peacock.

Video-background

28.2s

MALE NARRATOR: We are often told that happily-ever-afters exist only in the pages of fairy tales and in the naive minds of sheltered innocents. And yet, on this bright, sunny, Boston afternoon, a talking teddy bear is about to marry his girlfriend, proving two things. Happy endings can come true for anyone. And America doesn't give a shit about anything.

Ted 2

Video-background

6.4s

Do you, Tami-Lynn McCafferty, take this teddy bear to be your lawfully wedded husband?

Ted 2

Video-background

16.8s

I do. SAM: And do you, Ted, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? Fuckin' A right, I do! (GIGGLES) Then, by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bear.

Ted 2

Video-background

1.5s

(ALL CHEERING)

Ted 2

Video-background

4.1s

WEDDING ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, your newlyweds! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

Ted 2

Video-background

2.7s

Teddy, this is the best day of my life!

Ted 2

Video-background

6.2s

I just love you so much. I love you, too, baby. I'm gonna go fifty shades of bear on you tonight.

Ted 2

Video-background

2.4s

Let's go get shit-faced! Okay!

Ted 2

Video-background

1.2s

Thank you.

Ted 2

Video-background

17.3s

Hey, congrats, you mofos. Oh, hey, GUY- Beautiful ceremony. Oh. Thank you so much for being a part of it. Hey, this is my new boyfriend, Rick. How you doing? Good, good. He's a gourmet chef. So he knows how to toss a salad. (BOTH CHUCKLE)

Ted 2

Video-background

2.4s

Rick and I are actually about to tie the knot.

Ted 2

Video-background

6.8s

Oh, you guys are getting married? No, we're just gonna go home and tie our dioks together. Ha! Fuck you. Fuck you. Deal.

Ted 2

Video-background

27.8s

TED: Hey, buddy. You okay, there? You look a little down. Are you still shaking off that hangover from the bachelor party? Oh! That's nice. Oh, my God. She's fucking begging for it! (LAUGHS) She's totally begging. Get it. Get in there. Look at her. She wants it bad! JOHN: Oh, yeah. She wants more than just a fucking pizza delivery, huh? (MEN LAUGHING) TED: That's bigger than the average bear right there, I tell you. JOHN: You know what's fucked up? Dude, that's somebody's fucking daughter! MAN: Oh, shit! Jesus! Come on!

Ted 2

Video-background

3.2s

I'm fine. I was thinking aboutLofi.

Ted 2

Video-background

6.9s

Oh, Johnny, come on, man. It's been six months since you guys got divorced. I know, I know. It's just that...

Ted 2

Video-background

2.2s

Being back in that church again.

Ted 2

Video-background

8.2s

I mean, everything seemed like it was gonna be so perfect. Yeah. Well, you're not the first guy to marry the wrong girl. Hey, hey! Big day, huh, bud?

Ted 2

Video-background

14.7s

You guys wanna celebrate with a little something else, hmm? Oh. Uh, no, thanks, Sam. Tami-Lynn would kill me if I did drugs on our wedding day. Ah, she won't notice. I just did a line with a dude in the men's room and I bet you can't even spot him.

Ted 2

Video-background

1.5s

(GLASS BREAKS)

Ted 2

Video-background

25.6s

Yeah, I'm gonna pass. (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) (SINGING) I'm steppin' out with my honey Can't be bad to feel so good Never felt quite so sunny So I keep on knockin' wood Yeah, steppin' out with my baby Can't go wrong 'cause I'm in right Ask me when will the day be The big day may be tonight TED: This is the best day of my life!

Ted 2