National Lampoon's Van Wilder

National Lampoon's Van Wilder is a 2002 comedy film directed by Walt Becker and written by Brent Goldberg and David T. Wagner. The film stars Ryan Reynolds as the title character alongside Tara Reid, Kal Penn, and Tim Matheson. The film follows the misadventures of its lead character, Van Wilder, a seventh-year senior who has made it his life goal to help undergrads at Coolidge College succeed in the future. After an article is written about his legacy by fellow student, Gwen Pearson (played by Reid), Van Wilder's party lifestyle is brought to light. This attracts the attention of Wilder's father, played by Matheson, who cuts off his tuition. Wilder becomes stuck in the middle of a love triangle between Gwen and her mean-spirited boyfriend, Richard Bagg while struggling to graduate. He tries various schemes to earn enough money to pay his tuition and graduate, with help from Gwen and the rest of the student body, except for a couple of sinister enemies who attempt to sabotage his efforts. The film received mostly negative reviews from critics but was popular with audiences. The film grossed $21,305,259 at the US box office; $16,970,224 at the international box office; and $38,275,483 overall, thus making it a box-office success. A sequel, Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj, was released on December 1, 2006. A prequel, Van Wilder: Freshman Year, was released straight-to-DVD on July 14, 2009. The movie is loosely based on a Rolling Stone article featuring comedian Bert Kreischer.

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Seven years, and no degree. You should have graduated twice by now. I've done a lot in seven years. If you don't have your doctorate, you haven't done enough. But you have wasted enough of your time and my money. Pack up your panties, son, because we are headin' home.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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I'm staying here with my friends. Fine. Maybe your friends can pay your tuition. Because this morning I placed a stop payment on this semester's check. I'm sorry, son. Sometimes in life you have to realize a poor investment... and cut your losses.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Write that down.

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I need more time. There's got to be something that we can work out.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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What is that intoxicating scent you're wearing, Doris? I have cats. Meow!

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Maybe you could put me on some sort of extension... program? - A little pay-as-you-go? - Are you trying to seduce me? Who, me? No!

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You know, maybe this isn't such a good idea. Being bad seldom is.

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Oh, yeah. That's the shit. Guess what. I'm feeling a little cold sore coming on. Maybe we shouldn't do this for three to six weeks. Shut up, bitch, and give me some sugar.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Fill this out. It's a standard payment plan extension form.

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You mean, we didn't have to-- But aren't you glad we did?

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You can either mail this in or drop it off. Go, baby, go!

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Mail it in!

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Mail it in! Mail it in. Van, you must make four monthly payments of $5,000 each. I'm sorry, Taj. I'm gonna have to let you go. I don't have the resources to pay for your services anymore. A good soldier does not leave his commander... just because he lies wounded, arms torn off at the sockets... intestines spilling out onto the mud, picked at by the birds. I will stay on at no charge. Okay. Exactly how much money do you have? - He has only $34. - Damn, Van! What the hell you gonna do with $34, man?

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Congratulations, Taj! Your first blow job. In my country, a woman's mastery of her gastronomical releases... is the ultimate aphrodisiac. Desiree is the foremost connoisseur of chili con carne... and a TA at Coolidge. I wish I had teachers like that. And just like that, Topless Tutors was born.

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X... equals... six? Yeah!

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We knew you could do it. Desi told me how she and a few of her grad school pals... could use some extra income. Taj proved to be an excellent company accountant... as well as our most valued client.

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Excuse me.

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I'm looking for information on a current student here, Van Wilder.

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Freshman year. I'll get the others. - Wait. There are more of these? - Actually, there are many more. It seems Mr. Wilder didn't quite come out of his shell... until mid-sophomore year.

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Thanks.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder