National Lampoon's Van Wilder

National Lampoon's Van Wilder is a 2002 comedy film directed by Walt Becker and written by Brent Goldberg and David T. Wagner. The film stars Ryan Reynolds as the title character alongside Tara Reid, Kal Penn, and Tim Matheson. The film follows the misadventures of its lead character, Van Wilder, a seventh-year senior who has made it his life goal to help undergrads at Coolidge College succeed in the future. After an article is written about his legacy by fellow student, Gwen Pearson (played by Reid), Van Wilder's party lifestyle is brought to light. This attracts the attention of Wilder's father, played by Matheson, who cuts off his tuition. Wilder becomes stuck in the middle of a love triangle between Gwen and her mean-spirited boyfriend, Richard Bagg while struggling to graduate. He tries various schemes to earn enough money to pay his tuition and graduate, with help from Gwen and the rest of the student body, except for a couple of sinister enemies who attempt to sabotage his efforts. The film received mostly negative reviews from critics but was popular with audiences. The film grossed $21,305,259 at the US box office; $16,970,224 at the international box office; and $38,275,483 overall, thus making it a box-office success. A sequel, Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj, was released on December 1, 2006. A prequel, Van Wilder: Freshman Year, was released straight-to-DVD on July 14, 2009. The movie is loosely based on a Rolling Stone article featuring comedian Bert Kreischer.

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Why don't you go "release" your own pressure? And just so we're clear, I'm telling you to go fuck yourself!.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Hi, partner in crime. Is there anything I can do for you today? Oh, my God! We make such the fab team! Last night, I was so like Bonnie and you were so like Clyde. And now this. Would you shut up? I'm trying to pleasure you. Sorry, Richard. Pleasure away. - PS, this is an awesome room. - PS, shut the fuck up!

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Here, I'm done with all of this. - The Wilder story's not done. - Read it before you criticize. He got expelled today. Is that in your story? 'Cause it should be.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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- Is Van here? - He don't wanna see you. - Excuse me? - Look. - Why don't you just leave him alone? - Home wrecker.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Oh, thank you! Thank you!

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Out of my way!

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Stop packing! You can appeal the expulsion. It's in the school charter. "Any student may appeal an expulsion before the university judicial board... and state his or her case within 48 hours of being discharged."

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Do you want my hot tub, or should I just give it to Milty? We can get the law club to help. They owe you after the "Sue Me, Screw Me" soiree you threw. Thank you. I appreciate it. I'm really not interested. - You're not hearing me-- - It's over, Taj!

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Fuck you, Van Wilder!

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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You heard me. I say-- I say... fuck you, you-you-you-- you--you-- you pussy ass motherfucker! You-- You dicksucker! Don't sugar coat it, Taj. Tell me how you really feel. Seven years.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Seven years! I've accomplished nothing! There's no reason to stay here anymore! Sure, sure. You've made tons of friends... who in the drop of a rupee do anything for you, and that doesn't mean much? Who cares about Sick Boy and the charities you've helped... and all of our athletics-- those are all so minuscule? And I guess so is a promise... made to a wet-behind-the-ears kid from India whose only dream... was to bury his face in a beautiful woman's lotus patch.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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You have shown me a life I could only dream about... back home while masturbating in my father's woodshed.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Most importantly, you saw potential... in me.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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If you do not see potential in yourself, then you are a blind man.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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I'm leaving. Then leave. But leave the honorable way.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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You've been looking for that dare-to-be-great situation. It is at your doorstep.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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We need to talk.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Get me the law club.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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It's ridiculous! It's preposterous! It's ludicrous! By God, it's impetuous! - So does that mean you gonna help us? - Oh, it's on.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Let Van stay! Let Van stay! Let Van stay! Let Van stay!

National Lampoon's Van Wilder