National Lampoon's Van Wilder

National Lampoon's Van Wilder is a 2002 comedy film directed by Walt Becker and written by Brent Goldberg and David T. Wagner. The film stars Ryan Reynolds as the title character alongside Tara Reid, Kal Penn, and Tim Matheson. The film follows the misadventures of its lead character, Van Wilder, a seventh-year senior who has made it his life goal to help undergrads at Coolidge College succeed in the future. After an article is written about his legacy by fellow student, Gwen Pearson (played by Reid), Van Wilder's party lifestyle is brought to light. This attracts the attention of Wilder's father, played by Matheson, who cuts off his tuition. Wilder becomes stuck in the middle of a love triangle between Gwen and her mean-spirited boyfriend, Richard Bagg while struggling to graduate. He tries various schemes to earn enough money to pay his tuition and graduate, with help from Gwen and the rest of the student body, except for a couple of sinister enemies who attempt to sabotage his efforts. The film received mostly negative reviews from critics but was popular with audiences. The film grossed $21,305,259 at the US box office; $16,970,224 at the international box office; and $38,275,483 overall, thus making it a box-office success. A sequel, Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj, was released on December 1, 2006. A prequel, Van Wilder: Freshman Year, was released straight-to-DVD on July 14, 2009. The movie is loosely based on a Rolling Stone article featuring comedian Bert Kreischer.

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How often does your heart lead you into the women's locker room? - This would be a first. - Why do I find that hard to believe? I'm not saying I've never been in here before. I'm saying it's usually a different part of my anatomy that does the leading. Oh, my God.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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I just couldn't believe it. Gwen and Van in the women's locker room. I mean, I just couldn't believe it. So anyway, let me tell you something.

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I'm sorry, fellas. The bakery's closed.

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- I'm here to enlist your services. - Let me guess. "Come as your favorite drunk-on-jis, come-gargling frat boy party"? Then your mom can come.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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It's gonna be a bachelor party. One last night of debauchery with the fellas... before settling down with my fianc�e, Gwen.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Oh, please, you didn't think she'd be interested in a fuckup like you?

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That ought to be enough to get you started.

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Hello? Casey. I'm just using Gwen's computer. Is Gwen there? I need to talk to her. She's at Richard's getting ready for the engagement dinner tonight. Message? Nope. That's all right.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Bye. Thanks for coming. Lindsey and Rob make such a great couple, don't you think? Yeah, I'm happy for them. They're gonna make a great married couple too. You know why? Because they love each other? Because they're compatible.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Like a heart transplant patient finding a donor with the same blood type... and just the right chromosomal anomalies. A perfect match, connected forever.

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But that would mean one of them would have to be dead.

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Gwenny, I'm just saying that they're a match. Just like you and me.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Lucky girl.

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Gwendolyn Elizabeth Pearson... I'd be honored if you and I surgically and spiritually... grafted our lives together. Richard, I don't know what to say. Just say yes, because I've got even more amazing news. Northwestern called this morning. They wanna interview me. They're gonna send some recruit alums to campus for written and oral exams. And then I am in! Oh, man, Northwestern. That's great. I'm so happy for you, Richard. Be happy for both of us. The Richard and Gwen life plan is kicking in.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Northwestern. I am the shit.

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Your father wants to get us a place in Forest Grove as an engagement present. - My parents know about this? - Yeah, I told everyone.

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Where are you going? I'm not sure, and for some reason... I feel really good about that.

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I can't hold on There's no easy way Hey, Van, can I borrow-- My God, what happened to you?

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- I got hit by a big truck. - Are you okay? I'm all out of love I'm so lost without you I know you were right Believing for so long Dope song. What's it called? "Gwen Used Me For Her Story, Then Married an Ass Wipe... and Ran Over My Heart With a Big Metaphorical Truck." Originally performed by Air Supply. Who's Air Supply? How old are you, Sally?

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I'm old enough to be jealous of that Gwen girl.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder