Superbad

Superbad is a 2007 American coming-of-age teen buddy comedy film directed by Greg Mottola, written by Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg, and produced by Judd Apatow. It stars Jonah Hill and Michael Cera as Seth and Evan, two teenagers about to graduate from high school. Before graduating, the boys want to party and lose their virginity, but their plan proves harder than expected. Christopher Mintz-Plasse (in his film debut), Rogen, Bill Hader, Martha MacIsaac, and Emma Stone (in her film debut) provide supporting roles. Rogen and Goldberg wrote the script during their teenage years. It is loosely based on their experience in Grade 12 at Point Grey Secondary School in Vancouver during the 1990s. The main characters have the same given names as the two writers. Rogen was also initially intended to play Seth, but due to age and physical size this was changed, and Hill went on to portray Seth, while Rogen portrayed the irresponsible Officer Michaels, opposite Saturday Night Live star Hader as Officer Slater. Superbad premiered at Grauman's Chinese Theatre on August 13, 2007, and was theatrically released in the United States four days later on August 17, 2007. Upon release, the film received positive reviews, with critics praising the dialogue and the chemistry between the two leads as well as the performances of the supporting cast. The film also proved financially successful, grossing over $170 million on a $17.5–20 million budget.

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- Super gay. - All right, let's stop this madness. - Let's just go get some dessert. - I can't, I gotta go meet my counselor. I'm picking out my classes for next year. So I gotta sit and eat dessert alone, like I'm fucking Steven Glanzberg? I gue... Yeah, I mean, what do you want me to do?

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I don't know. Nothing. It's fine.

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- Just relax, man. I'll see you later. - That's fine. I'll be fine.

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Hey, pussy. Fuck off. Just the one. Just the one. Not both. - So I'll call Andy and Greg. - Okay. And I'll bring the '80s dance music. - Yeah, yeah. - Right on. Seth! Hi. There you are. We were just talking about you. - Here I am. - That's weird. So you're coming to my party tonight? Because it's fully on. Yeah, why? Should I not come? Because I could think of other shit... Oh, no. No. I want you to come, I just... You said something earlier about, like, a fake ID or something, right? Yeah, I'm gonna get one. For sure, for sure. I'm getting that for sure.

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Can you get us booze?

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Yeah. I can. I can get you guys alcohol. - Really? Seriously? - Yes, for sure. That would be awesome. Thank you. Because we were worried about that. That would be great. Plus, you know, you scratch our backs, we'll scratch yours. Well, Jules, the funny thing about my back... ...is that it's located on my cock.

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So you do want alcohol? You want some or no? You do or you don't? You do want alcohol. - Yeah. - Either way. - Well... - Either way. Either way's fine. This is actually kind of a big favor. Because my parents left me like 100 bucks to feed myself for the week. But the house is full of food, so I just thought I'd spend it all... ...on, you know, extra drinks for the party, so... That's really nice. I don't think I've ever done anything that nice. - It's cool? - Yeah. - Okay. Thank you. - Awesome. I mean, seriously, that's really... That's nice of you. Thank you. So should I just get a shitload of different shit?

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Well, you gotta get me some Kyle's Killer Lemonade. Kyle's Killer Lemonade. That's kind of gay, but I can get it for you.

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So... Okay, so then we will see you tonight. Go to the ball, guys.

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Evan. Get into the game. Kick it over to me. Seth! Get off the field! Get out of here. They're gonna make me run laps. Just fucking listen, okay? Jules and her stupid fucking friend asked me to buy her alcohol. But not just her, for her whole party. You know what that means? By some miracle, we were paired up and she actually thought of me. Thought of me enough to decide I was the guy she would trust... ...with the whole fun-ness of her party. She wants to fuck me. She wants my dick in or around her mouth. Did you think that maybe she's using you to get her alcohol? - She doesn't want your dick. - Of course I thought of that. The first thing that came to my mind. Listen. My older brother always says the nastiest shit. Like he called me "hymen" until I was 12. Seth, I wanna blow you.

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She didn't say that. Come on. She didn't say the second part, the first... She's got an older brother. She could have asked him. She looked me in the eyes and said: "Seth, Mom is making a pubie salad. I need some Seth's Own dressing." She's D.T.F. She's down to fuck, man. P in vagi. She wants to fuck, man. Tonight is the night that fucking is an actual possibility. You sound like an idiot. You're not gonna sleep with her. No. Dude, I know I talk a lot of shit, okay? But she's gonna be at the party and she's gonna be drunk. She likes me at least a little. At the very least, I'll make out with her. Two weeks, handjob. Month, blowjob. Whatever. And then I make her my girlfriend. And I've got, like, two solid months of sex. By the time college rolls around... ...l'll be like the Iron Chef of pounding vag. Can we talk about this later? What the fuck, Evan? We're down two points. Fucking calm down, Greg. It's soccer. - It's soccer. - Fuck you, man. Hey, Greg, why don't you go piss your pants again? - That was eight years ago, asshole. - People don't forget. Do you wanna hear the best part? Becca. You do the same thing with her. When you guys are shitfaced, you get with her. This is our last party as high school people. I've ignored my hatred for Becca in coming up with this plan. I'm flexing nuts. Just fucking come with me on this voyage... ...and stop being a pussy for once... ...and we can fucking fuck some girls already.

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- I should buy Becca alcohol? - Yeah, it'll be pimp. That way you know she'll be drunk. You know when girls say: "I was so shitfaced last night. I shouldn't have fucked that guy." We could be that mistake! Have you talked to Fogell? All right, you talk to Becca. I'll talk to that retard, Fogell. Don't worry. - Seth, get off the field! - Goal. - You're getting that! - No, I'm not!

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Hey, Becca. Hey, hold up. - Oh, hey. - Hey. Hi. Did you hear about the party tonight? Yeah. Yeah, I just heard. It sounds awesome. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going. - Really? - Yeah, I'm gonna go. That's why I came looking for you. Me and the guys are gonna go to a liquor store. And I just thought, you know... ...if you needed someone to get you yours, I could do that. I could be that person. Yeah. Yeah, no, that would be great. That would save me such a hassle, because I was gonna beg my sister. Could you get me, like, a bottle of Goldslick Vodka? Yeah. That's the one with the little golden flakes in it? - Yeah. The girly one. - That's classy. Well, I'll pay you back at the party. No, you won't. No, it's my treat, miss. - Really? - Yep. That's that. It's the first of many too, so get used to it, sister. Well, thank you. Yeah, no problem.

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- I'm sorry. It was an accident. - It's okay. I was gonna give you a nudge... A punch, the friend thing. I didn't mean... - Hey, Becca. - Hey. - Hey. - Gaby. - What's up, Evan? - Hey, Gaby. - We should get to class. - We're gonna go. - So I will see you tonight. - Okay. - Really, don't worry. - Okay. Sorry. - Bye. - Sorry. Bye.

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Sorry.

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Where's that sack of shit, Fogell? He said he'd be here. I'm here with my thumb up my ass. I did it, dude. I even offered to pay for it. It was pimp. I feel like a pimp right now. - Like one of those pimps. - That is fucking pimp. - That's what I was afraid of. - Why didn't I think of that? Shit.

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Sh... We're screwed. - Okay? We're screwed. - Okay. This is what we get for trusting Fogell, okay? He pussied out. I know he pussied out.

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What are you making?

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I'm just drilling holes. The last two weeks. Fuck it.

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What do we tell the girls, we couldn't do the one thing... ...we promised because we're dickless incompetents? Now we're never gonna bone because of that used tampon, Fogell. How'd he get into Dartmouth? I don't get it. He's got shit for brains. All right, how else can we get alcohol? - Yo, guys! What's up? - Fogell, where have you been, man? You almost gave me a goddamn heart attack. - Let me see it. Did you pussy out? - No, no, man. I got it. It's flawless. Check it. Hawaii? All right, that's good. It's hard to trace, I guess. Wait, you changed your name to McLovin?

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