Found 410 results
18.3s
This pen knife. It's all I had. It got me through. No, it didn't. The pen knife did nothing. It was just a psychological security blanket. Also, you had a terrible, abusive father. I became a man that night. That's the point. You don't need to drop your kids off in the desert... to teach them how to be a man. What do you know about being a man?
Stuber
41.4s
So this Becca chick says, "Jump." And you say, "How high?" If you knew her, you'd jump too. - You'd pole vault. - Oh. Bullshit. I don't jump for anybody. 'Cause I've got self-respect. You know what that is? Is that when a blind cop kidnaps an Uber driver? When I was 14 years old, my dad took me on a... camping trip out in the desert. First night there he jumps in his truck, he says, "I'm going into town to get some groceries." You know what that really meant? That meant he was going into town to get drunk and hook up with a local. You know, I don't remember signing up for this TED Talk. First few hours go by and I think he's probably got a flat tire. Then it gets dark, and then it gets cold. I'm hungry. There is shit in the desert making noise. I'm scared to death. And? So I sat there all night freezing my ass off. Starving, clutching this pen knife till dawn.
Stuber
27s
Fuck you, homie! I got fucking rights! No. Fuck you, homie! You're looking at five years for possession. - Unless you wanna talk. - Uh, Vic? No? Watch him. I'll be back. This is bullshit, man! No. No, no. Vic. Vic. No, no, no. Hey, hey, hey. You cannot just leave him in my car. This is a hard no for me. - This is an UberPool, right? - No, it's not an UberPool! Don't act like... you know what UberPool is, okay? You learned that earlier today.
Stuber
19.4s
Here, take this. Oh, no, I am not touching that. He can help me crack a case I've been working on for years! He's handcuffed. - He's locked in a car. - I'm not doing it. - The safety's on. - No. Just point it at him. Don't let him smell you're a civilian. Two minutes. You get your five stars... and you're free to go see your girl, man. And you get to tell her how you helped an officer in need.
Stuber