Found 410 results
1m18s
Oh, what? I hurt your feelings? No. Actually, I feel bad for you. After seeing how you treat your own daughter... it's clear that you don't give a shit about anyone else. Wait. Are you mad at me? Or are you mad at that girl you refuse to man up to? Oh, you're gonna give me relationship advice? You spend more time obsessing over your dead partner... than paying attention to your alive daughter... who, news flash, wants to be a part of your life. You know what that makes you? - A good cop? - A shitty father! All right. You know what? You've been annoying me all goddamn day... I've been annoying you? What? I don't need a therapy session from Little Man Uber. Life is hard. That's what we signed up for. And I handle my shit like a real man. I don't bitch and moan and whine and cry... like your pansy ass! Oh, you feel like a real man, huh? Killing people, avenging, kicking ass... taking names, torturing perps. You know what? I could've called another Uber driver earlier, and you know why I didn't? Because you don't know - how to use apps! - No. Because I wouldn't find one weaker than you! You're too chicken shit to tell that girl you like her! You're too chicken shit to stand up to me! And you're a chicken shit... who deserves zero stars.
Stuber
21.8s
Coward! Where are you? You're the coward! You can't face your own feelings! You remember that part of NeverEnding Story... where Atreyu has to walk through the Oracle Gates... and those giant sphinx statue things can see a warrior's true internal nature? - What? - And that super scary knight gets vaporized... because deep down he doesn't believe in himself? Yeah?
Stuber
42.8s
Hey, Becca, I'm so, so sorry. Uh, something came up. Stu, I'm so sorry. I did not mean to freak you out. If you don't wanna have sex, I understand, I'm disgusting. No, no, no. - You didn't freak me out. - Shit. I'm definitely down to clown. - I wanna do the deed. - What? And then we're gonna have a talk. You know what? I was gonna say... maybe you should not come over. Because, okay... So, Byron called me... and he sounded really sorry. And he was like, "I should come over and talk," and I think I should just hear him out. - You know? - No, no, no. Do not let Byron come over, okay? He does not deserve to be let back into your life. Wait for me, okay? I'll be there. Wait for me. Okay. Oh, God, this night is so crazy for me. I'll be right there.
Stuber
23.6s
- I think you broke my arm. - Fighting is hard. You gotta have stamina. Yeah. I'm surprised you lasted as long as you did. - That's 'cause I was winning. - You were not. - It was fun. I totally won. - I was kicking your ass. I won. Couple of homeless guys humping in my store, huh? Little squat and fuck? Stuber, that you?
Stuber
55.1s
"Stuber." Oh, that's great, 'cause you drive an Uber. That's a great pun. Who the hell are you? And why are you so huge? Jesus, what are you benching? Like, 310, 350? Easy, kid. Just put the crossbow down. We'll get out of your hair. Jesus, Stuber! What the hell did you and your gigolo friend do to my store? It's your dad's store. He's a cop. He's working an important case. Case? - Is that what you call your butt? - Look, pal. We're in a hurry. You got another sporting goods store you gotta fuck in or something? Listen, do you know what this is? - Huh. - That's blood. It is. I've done things tonight you would not believe. Oh, yeah? I signed a lease on a spin gym. Weird. I provided emotional support to a male stripper. You're saying these things like they're scary. - I shot a man in cold blood. - Yeah. I watched him die. From someone else's bullet, but I loosened him up. Yeah, right, Stuber. Hey.
Stuber