Found 695 results

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- Yeah. - But deep down I'm nice.

The Dictator

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Or boys.

The Dictator

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And tell Viggo Mortensen he is on my radar.

The Dictator

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"Ohhh." See? She goes "Ohhh" all the time. Watch.

The Dictator

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Shaved ape.

The Dictator

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"Ohhh."

The Dictator

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What's wrong with Crocs? They are the universal symbol of a man who has given up hope! You might as well put sweatpants on and go to Applebee's for the rest of your life! I'll give you that one. I do look ridiculous. Yes! Listen, if you won't come down from there for yourself, do it for your country. If this constitution is signed, there will be free press, women drivers, civil rights! What are "civil rights"? I'll tell you later. They're hilarious. Look, you alone can stop these terrible things from happening. You are the last great dictator! All of the others are gone! Qaddafi, Saddam, Kim Jong, Cheney. You are right, Nadal. I will become the greatest dictator of all, the envy of madmen everywhere! Yes, Supreme Leader! From the mountaintops of North Korea to the jungles of Zimbabwe, let every child laborer and sweatshop factory worker sing, "Oppressed at last! Oppressed at last! "Thank Aladeen, I am oppressed at last!" Yes! Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing? - No, no, no, no, don't fall. - I'm not doing anything. Just do like a pull-up. You know how you do pull-ups? I invented the pull-up.

The Dictator

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You are such a schmuck! - Why are you speaking Yiddish? - I picked it up. What do you mean, "I picked it up"? Who picks up Yiddish? I'm in New York! We're trying to erase that country off the map! I don't like the people, but I like the way that their words really sound like what they're meant to be. Oh, I'm sorry! Did I not get the Evite to your bar mitzvah? Oh, my God! You've got real chutzpah saying that! Look, where has being a nice guy gotten you, huh? Standing on the edge of a bridge about to commit suicide? Still wearing Crocs?

The Dictator

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If you're just joining us, we are at the Lancaster Hotel, where in about 20 minutes, General Aladeen will be signing the new Wadiyan constitution. Dignitaries from around the world are arriving now to witness the creation of a democracy that will undoubtedly change the political landscape of the entire region.

The Dictator

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An outer layer of cocksucker, and when you peel it away, there is 10 more layers of cocksucker underneath.

The Dictator

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Eddie Norton, next time, you pee on me.

The Dictator

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Whatever.

The Dictator

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That won't be enough to make a difference. Yes, it will. I haven't gone since Wadiya. Losing power has stopped me up like a cork. Hurry! Come on, Supreme Leader! Make it rain! Make it rain!

The Dictator

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You need to lose weight immediately!

The Dictator

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Somebody stop that man! Yes!

The Dictator

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My pockets are empty. I could poo.

The Dictator

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What? No, no, no, no!

The Dictator

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No, no, no!

The Dictator