- [Laughing] - [Laughing] You think Shrek is your true love! What is so funny? Let's just say I'm not your type, okay? Of course, you are. You're my rescuer. Now-- Now remove your helmet. Look. I really don't think this is a good idea. -Just take off the helmet. - I'm not going to. - Take it off. - No! - Now! - Okay! Easy. As you command, Your Highness.
Shrek
2m24s
Oh, no. This is all wrong. You're not supposed to be an ogre. [Sighs] Princess, I was sent to rescue you by Lord Farquaad, okay? He's the one who wants to marry you. Then why didn't he come rescue me? Good question. You should ask him that when we get there. But I have to be rescued by my true love, not by some ogre and his-- his pet. So much for noble steed. You're not making my job any easier. I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem. You can tell Lord Farquaad that if he wants to rescue me properly, I'll be waiting for him right here. Hey! I'm no one's messenger boy, all right? I'm a delivery boy. You wouldn't dare. - Put me down! - Ya coming, Donkey? I'm right behind ya. Put me down, or you will suffer the consequences! This is not dignified! Put me down! [Screams] Okay, so here's another question. Say there's a woman that digs you, right, but you don't really like her that way. How do you let her down real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a crisp and eaten? You just tell her she's not your true love. Everyone knowest what happens when you find your-- Hey! [Sighs] The sooner we get to DuLoc the better. You're gonna love it there, Princess. It's beautiful! And what of my groom-to-be? Lord Farquaad? What's he like? Let me put it this way, Princess. Men of Farquaad's stature are in short supply. [Laughs] I don't know. There are those who think little of him. [Both Laughing] Stop it. Stop it, both of you. You're just jealous you can never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad. Yeah, well, maybe you're right, Princess. But I'll let you do the measuring when you see him tomorrow. Tomorrow? It'll take that Ion? - Shouldn't we stop to make camp? - No, that'll take longer. - We can keep going. - But there's robbers in the woods. Whoa! Time out, Shrek! Camping is starting to sound good. Hey, come on. I'm scarier than anything we're going to see in this forest. I need to find somewhere to camp now! [Bird Wings Fluttering]
Shrek
1m19s
- [Dragon Growling In The Distance] - You did it! You rescued me! You're amazing. You're-- You're wonderful. You're... a little unorthodox I'll admit. But thy deed is great, and thine heart is pure. - I am eternally in your debt. - [Clears Throat] And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed? I hope you heard that. She called me a noble steed. She think I'm a steed. [Fiona Laughs] The battle is won. You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight. - Uh, no. - Why not? I have helmet hair. Please. I would'st look upon the face of my rescuer. No, no, you wouldn't-- 'st. But how will you kiss me? What? That wasn't in the job description. Maybe it's a perk. No, it's destiny. Oh, you must know how it goes. A princess locked in a tower and beset by a dragon... is rescued by a brave knight, and then they share true love's first kiss. Hmm? With Shrek? You think-- Wait. Wait. You think that Shrek is your true love? Well, yes.
Shrek
2.1s
[Growls]
Shrek
2.4s
Donkey, look out! [Screams]
Shrek
57.5s
I'm on my way from misery to happiness today Uh-huh, uh-huh Uh-huh, uh-huh I'm on my way from misery to happiness today Uh-huh, uh-huh Uh-huh, uh-huh And everything that you receive up yonder Is what you give to me the day I wander I'm on my way I'm on my way I'm on my way Ooh! Shrek! Did you do that? You gotta warn somebody before you just crack one off. My mouth was open. Believe me, Donkey, if it was me, you'd be dead. [Sniffs] It's brimstone. - We must be getting close. - Yeah, right, brimstone. Don't be talking about it's the brimstone. I know what I smell. It wasn't no brimstone. It didn't come off no stone neither.
Shrek
3.1s
- [Screams] - [Roars]
Shrek
3s
- Ho Id the phone. - [Grunts]
Shrek
3.1s
[Roaring]
Shrek
1m7s
[Vocalising Continues] Oh! Oh! - Wake up! - What? Are you Princess Fiona? I am, awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me. Oh, that's nice. Now let's go! But wait, Sir Knight. This be-ith our first meeting. Should it not be a wonderful, romantic moment? - Yeah, sorry, lady. There's no time. - Hey, wait. What are you doing? You should sweep me off my feet... out yonder window and down a rope on to your valiant steed. You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you? Mm-hmm. [Screams, Grunts] But we have to savour this moment! You could recite an epic poem for me. A ballad? A sonnet! - A Limerick? Or something! - I don't think so. Can I at least know the name of my champion? Um, Shrek. Sir Shrek. [Clears Throat] I pray that you take this favour as a token of my gratitude.
Shrek
1m25s
Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on now. - Where did that come from? - What? That! Back there. That was amazing! Where did you learn that? Well-- [Chuckles] When one lives alone, uh, one has to learn these things in case there's a-- - There's an arrow in your butt! - What? - Oh, would you look at that? - Oh, no. This is all my fault. - I'm so sorry. - Why? What's wrong? - Shrek's hurt. - Shrek's hurt. Shrek's hurt? Oh, no, Shrek's gonna die. - Donkey, I'm okay. - You can't do this to me. I'm too young for you to die. Keep your legs elevated. Turn your head and cough. - Does anyone know the Heimlich? - Donkey! Calm down. If you want to help Shrek, run into the woods and find me a blue flower with red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Okay, I'm on it. Blue flower, red thorns. Don't die, Shrek. If you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light! - [Both] Donkey! - Oh, yeah. Right. Blue flower, red thorns. - Blue flower, red thorns. - What are the flowers for? - For getting rid of Donkey. - Ah. Now you hold still, and I'll yank this thing out. Ow! Hey! Easy with the yanking. - I'm sorry, but it has to come out. - No, it's tender. Now, hold on. - What you're doing is the opposite of help. - Don't move. - Look, time out. - Would you-- [Grunts] Okay. What do you propose we do? Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. This would be so much easier if I wasn't colour-blind! - Blue flower, red thorns. - [Shrek] Ow! Ho Id on, Shrek! I'm coming!
- Ow! - Hey, what's that? [Nervous Chuckle] That's-- Is that blood? [Sighs]
Shrek
1m22s
[Roaring] You didn't slay the dragon? - It's on my to-do list. Now come on! - [Screams] But this isn't right! You were meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying. That's what all the other knights did. Yeah, right before they burst into flame. That's not the point. Oh! Wait. Where are you going? The exit's over there. Well, I have to save my ass. What kind of knight are you? One of a kind. [Donkey] Slowdown. Slowdown, baby, please. I believe it's healthy to get to know someone over a long period of time. Just call me old-fashioned. [Laughs] I don't want to rush into a physical relationship. I'm not emotionally ready for a commitment of, uh, this-- Magnitude really is the word I'm looking for. Magnitude-- Hey, that is unwanted physical contact. Hey, what are you doing? Okay, okay. Let's just backup a little and take this one step a ta time. We really should get to know each other first as friends or pen pals. I'm on theroada lot, but I just love receiving cards-- I'd really love to stay, but-- Don't do that! That's my tail! That's my personal tail. You're gonna tear it off. I don't give permission-- What are you gonna do with that? Hey, now. No way. No! No! No, no! No. No, no, no! No! Oh!
Shrek
14.9s
Yes, Shrek? I-- I love you. Really? Really, really. I love you too.
Shrek
9.4s
[Gasping] [Screaming] [Roaring]
Shrek
7.6s
Ow! Not good. -Okay. Okay, I can nearly see the head. - [Grunts] - It's just about-- - Ow! Ohh!