And yeah, technically, this is a murder. But some of the best love stories start with a murder. And that's exactly what this is, a love story. And to tell it right... I gotta take you back to long before I squeezed this ass into red spandex.
Deadpool
2.9s
WADE: I did! (TOILET FLUSHING)
Deadpool
1.3s
Then who placed the call?
Deadpool
12.2s
MERCHANT: Look, would it help if I slow it down for you? I didn't order the pizza. Is this 7348 Red Ledge Drive? Are you Mr. Merchant? Yeah, the Mr. Merchant who didn't order the fucking pie!
Deadpool
18.8s
Sweet and salty. The fuck are you? The fuck you doing in my crib... Is it burnt crust? I... God, I hope not. Um... Whoa... Man, look, if this is about that poker game. I told Howie, I told him that... Okay, uh, look, just take whatever you want. Thanks.
Deadpool
10.9s
Should've brought my roller blades. Show these kids how it's done. Oh. And that's why we do it. But mostly the money. Hey, think you could fuck up my step-dad? I give a guy a pavement facial, it's because he's earned it.
Deadpool
7.4s
Hey, and I ain't taking any babysitting money, all right? Make sure that gets back to Ms... Orlovsky. Yeah, her. You sure? Hmm.
Deadpool
2.7s
Sir, before you do anything to him, do you mind if I get a big tip?
Deadpool
4.5s
(CHUCKLES) Uh, Jeremy, is it? Umm-hmm. Wade. Wade Wilson.
Deadpool
3.5s
Oh, God, me too. The drink, moose knuckle. But first...
Deadpool
2s
No friggin' way.
Deadpool
11.7s
Well, joke's on you. I'm living to 102. And then dying. Like the city of Detroit. I'm sorry. I just... I wanted to win money. I never win anything. Whatever. Soldiers of fortune, drinks on me!
Deadpool
9s
Nobody wins today. Nice try, Wade. You got me. I picked Boothe in the dead pool. Who did you pick? Yeah, Wade, about that, um...
Deadpool
5.2s
BOOTHE: Come here, you fat fuck! That's a new stool. (ALL CLAMORING)
Deadpool
3s
You bet on me to die. Wow! Motherfucker, you're the world's worst friend.
Deadpool
5.3s
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... Baby, are you sure you wanna shoot your whole wad?
