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3.4s

Can you leave that bottle alone, honey? Can you put it down?

The Change-Up

26s

- David? - Yep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For the thingy. Braves-Marlins. Please don't tell me that you forgot. Didn't forget. What time are you going to pick me up? Don't you bail on me, David. I am not going to bail. If you bail on me, I'm going to literally eye-rape you. I got it. I will actually place myself inside your ocular... It's my dad. Mitch Planko, Sr. making a rare appearance. This guy fucking hates me.

The Change-Up

11.8s

I know. I'll have you back in your warm little bed in one second. Here you go. Back to bed, sweetheart. You got a fresh, dry diapy. Peter... Peter, please!

The Change-Up

1.7s

He smelt a little like lamb, though.

The Change-Up

1.7s

Good morning, Patricia.

The Change-Up

3.2s

Buddy, we talked about the head thing.

The Change-Up

13.1s

My turn with the Amalgamated files? Yeah, I adjusted the WACC to reflect the new monthly projections, and I pre-negotiated articles 23 through 29. Okay. I like the way you had it before, by the way. Yeah. Thank you.

The Change-Up

6.7s

I'm actually proud of you, Mitch. Really? Really.

The Change-Up

9.5s

- When's the wedding? - Next Saturday. My betrothed, Pamela, would like you to be there to say a few words. I'll catch the next one.

The Change-Up

12.8s

I just came by to tell you how incredibly proud of you I am, son. I'm pretty baked right now, but I think you're being sarcastic. Right? No, dropping out of high school to be an actor was a great decision.

The Change-Up

1.4s

What are you doing here?

The Change-Up

50.4s

- Hello. - Penis, shit, vagina, cock, wolf pussies. Mitch. I'm at work. - Did I get you? - Yeah. You sure did. - You got me on speakerphone? - Yep. Did the secretary hear? Yes, the secretary heard. She heard it all. That's awesome. Not really. How stoned are you right now? I've taken some weed. Have you? Do you know what time it is? It's like 9:00. Holy fuck-knuckles. - Guess what I'm looking at right now. - A bong? No, I found a futon on the street last night. I sort of had to fight a bum for it. He was so thin. And it also came with this vintage Navajo pony blanket... So I think that's pretty much a win for me. Mitch, you know the adults are about to fire up a work day. - I know, I just miss you, dude, that's all. - I miss you, too. We've been super best buddies since third grade. I haven't seen you in forever. I've been swamped. We're sleep-training the twins, and I just haven't had a moment to breathe. I'm sorry, man. I'm just super-excited to see you. We are still on for tonight, right?

The Change-Up

2.8s

- Great visiting. - You, too.

The Change-Up

5.6s

I'm going to go. Just sit the fuck back down. I showered, I showed up, I'm starving and I could use a drink.

The Change-Up

1.9s

This is not my life.

The Change-Up

1.5s

What? I don't...

The Change-Up

9.4s

I am plowing the crap out of this chick around the corner, and now we're gonna have dinner. We're gonna make some scallops, and then it's going to get ugly. This chick is a mess.

The Change-Up

10.8s

Steve, it's like Christmas in my ass! What are you doing with my wife, man? - Dimitri? - Hey, join the fuck party. - Let's make lady sandwich. - Okay.

The Change-Up

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Can you leave that bottle alone, honey? Can you put it down?

I know. I'll have you back in your warm little bed in one second. Here you go. Back to bed, sweetheart. You got a fresh, dry diapy. Peter... Peter, please!

He smelt a little like lamb, though.

Good morning, Patricia.

Buddy, we talked about the head thing.

My turn with the Amalgamated files? Yeah, I adjusted the WACC to reflect the new monthly projections, and I pre-negotiated articles 23 through 29. Okay. I like the way you had it before, by the way. Yeah. Thank you.

I'm actually proud of you, Mitch. Really? Really.

- When's the wedding? - Next Saturday. My betrothed, Pamela, would like you to be there to say a few words. I'll catch the next one.

I just came by to tell you how incredibly proud of you I am, son. I'm pretty baked right now, but I think you're being sarcastic. Right? No, dropping out of high school to be an actor was a great decision.

What are you doing here?

- Great visiting. - You, too.

I'm going to go. Just sit the fuck back down. I showered, I showed up, I'm starving and I could use a drink.

This is not my life.

What? I don't...

I am plowing the crap out of this chick around the corner, and now we're gonna have dinner. We're gonna make some scallops, and then it's going to get ugly. This chick is a mess.

Steve, it's like Christmas in my ass! What are you doing with my wife, man? - Dimitri? - Hey, join the fuck party. - Let's make lady sandwich. - Okay.