Do not listen to him, Ted. He is beyond reckless. If we make too large a counter offer, we risk driving them away. Ted, it doesn't hurt to ask.
The Change-Up
1.5s
Ten million? Fifteen?
The Change-Up
9.8s
This is just like trying to fuck a Catholic girl who keeps saying, "No, I don't want to. I'm really drunk and you're circumcised." But she keeps on making out with you, she's not leaving your Fiero... It means she really wants to.
The Change-Up
2.2s
Stick your thumb up her butthole.
The Change-Up
32.4s
That's appropriate. - Hey, Mitch. - Jamie, we need to talk. Are you going to stay for dinner? No, I can't stay for dinner, but I would love to... Look, I got to tell you something. I can't talk right now, Mitch. It's been so crazy here. The twins are a half-hour past their bedtime. - What are you doing? - What are you, some kind of animal? And Cara has to start her homework. I have an emergency phone call in four minutes. You know that building? The 11-story building? I have to remove three stories somehow. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. It's so ridiculous. It makes no sense at all. I'm not Mitch.
Hey, man, hang on. What are you planning on telling her? I'm telling her the truth. - The truth? - Yeah. That's going to work. Jamie will know what to do.
The Change-Up
6.7s
You betcha. You go have a good time, little girl. I got your life all put away here, nice and safe. Answer my phone.
The Change-Up
5.4s
Hello. Hi, Mitch Planko. Bingo! Who the fuck is this? What?
The Change-Up
1.4s
- Dad? - Hello?
The Change-Up
15s
Remind yourself of that. Remind yourself of the big, fucking crater you created right there on Tuesday night. - The Tuesday night, again. - I could use that. - She'd fit perfectly in there. - Will you please drop that? - Every day with the Tuesday night! - Well, it's a big goddamn deal! You fucked me! You owe me! Respect my life! Respect mine. Yeah, you respect your life.
The Change-Up
2s
This is so good.
The Change-Up
2.4s
- A what? - He's a Jedi Knight, sir.
The Change-Up
4.5s
- Kiss me. - No, no, no. No talking. - All right, let me kiss a shoulder first. Okay. - Okay?
The Change-Up
5.7s
No. Don't apologize. I apologize. I probably came off a little gay last night.
