Really? Are you sure that's what you want? Absolutely. I like that. You're okay with that being on your body for, like, forever? I feel pretty good about it. How is yours down there? It's good. It tickles a little.
What do you think about doing something that we will really, really regret in the morning?
The Change-Up
20.7s
- What? - Listen to me. If somebody comes at you with a knife, you put her whole family in the morgue. That is jailyard justice. Because if you don't come back hard on a bitch, you're going to end up getting sold for a pack of Camel Lights and a Jell-O cup. Do you understand what I'm saying to you? Always solve your problems with violence. Okay, Daddy. Great.
The Change-Up
6.4s
Because you told me not to. I what? You said I should strive for verbal resolution.
The Change-Up
17.5s
That's so twisted. Oh, God. Wait, wait, Tatiana. Tatiana. I'm sorry, okay? You're beautiful. You're beautiful. You're just... What? I'm not sexy? No, no. Hey. Look, I did not say that, okay? You are... Oh, my God! I can see it kicking!
The Change-Up
1.2s
Is that weird?
The Change-Up
21.8s
Before heading to the market, always call Jamie and ask her if she needs anything first. In fact, before making any decision in your life, no matter how small, call your wife first. Think of yourself as a brain-damaged mule, lost in the desert, helpless, dumb and in constant need of direction. Never take the initiative, never strike out on your own, and never deviate from the plan. Why? Because you are a brain-damaged mule and you are lost in the damn desert!
The Change-Up
1.4s
This is new.
The Change-Up
5.8s
So, how did it go? How much money is it? Just two hours, so, 14 bucks. Great.
The Change-Up
2.6s
- Who is this? - Your wife.
The Change-Up
2.7s
Oh, my God!
The Change-Up
1.2s
Oh, my God!
The Change-Up
8.7s
Do not listen to him, Ted. He is beyond reckless. If we make too large a counter offer, we risk driving them away. Ted, it doesn't hurt to ask.
