Found 796 results
48.2s
Mitch and Dave. Mitch and Dave, out on the town. Dude, I didn't tell you! I booked a major movie role this week. I auditioned for a movie role, I got it. - Yeah, first one. - Hey, good for you. What is it called? Untitled Awesome Movie. Truly? That's the name? - Yeah. - Yeah. Good for you. - Do you want to hotbox this nut sack? - No, no. - I've got a big day tomorrow. - Take the wheel. Steer. Steering wheel. Steer for me. Mitch, come on, buddy. Let's make it to the game in one piece, don't you think? Want to try that? This Fiero, unfortunately, is airbag-free. It's a work day tomorrow. - Come on. - All right, I'll take one hit. What the... You motherfucker! Let's just focus on the driving. Just say no, Reagan. God, why would you do that? - Well, we're driving. - God! - This is a car carrying a lot of speed. - This is terrible. Hit the steering wheel. I'm going again!
The Change-Up
26.4s
Be 15 minutes early for everything. It doesn't matter what it is. A meeting, an event. Less stress for me, less stress for you... Hey! You're married now, jackass. You can't look at other women. You can't talk to other women. You can't even be interesting around other women. Do everything in your power to desexualize yourself. Wear a fanny pack, drive a Prius, attach electronic devices to your belt, whatever it takes. And if you find yourself forced to talk to a woman, quickly find a way to mention the fact that you're married. It doesn't even have to make sense. Hi, how are you? Nice weather today. He's totally fucking married.
The Change-Up