Be 15 minutes early for everything. It doesn't matter what it is. A meeting, an event. Less stress for me, less stress for you... Hey! You're married now, jackass. You can't look at other women. You can't talk to other women. You can't even be interesting around other women. Do everything in your power to desexualize yourself. Wear a fanny pack, drive a Prius, attach electronic devices to your belt, whatever it takes. And if you find yourself forced to talk to a woman, quickly find a way to mention the fact that you're married. It doesn't even have to make sense. Hi, how are you? Nice weather today. He's totally fucking married.

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The Change-Up (2011)

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Duration: 26.4s

Be 15 minutes early for everything. It doesn't matter what it is. A meeting, an event. Less stress for me, less stress for you... Hey! You're married now, jackass. You can't look at other women. You can't talk to other women. You can't even be interesting around other women. Do everything in your power to desexualize yourself. Wear a fanny pack, drive a Prius, attach electronic devices to your belt, whatever it takes. And if you find yourself forced to talk to a woman, quickly find a way to mention the fact that you're married. It doesn't even have to make sense. Hi, how are you? Nice weather today. He's totally fucking married.