Found 777 results
21.8s
- He let me stroke it. - Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold on! He's talking about a pee... A bee. - A little stuffed bee. - What bee? There was a bee here, man! It was so soft. He let me kiss it. No, I did not let you kiss it! What are you talking about? - He did not even... Ahh! - You're fucking dead! Dad, that was cool! Oh, shit!
Dirty Grandpa
1m43s
Okay, Daytona Beach! Who's ready for a Flex Off! I'm talking about dudes getting on stage, getting ripped! Yeah! Yes, I'll be home tomorrow. I promise. And I know... Yes, I know the dinner is important to the firm... Hold on, I'm getting another call. It might be Meredith. Okay? Bye. - Hello? - Hey, it's me. Someone just stuck their thumb up my ass. What? Yeah, I was just standing right there, talking on the phone, and someone came right up behind me and stuck their thumb up my ass. - Did you see who it was... - Jamba! Ow! Fuck! Stop doing that! - How'd it go on the home front? - How do you think? Come on. Let's go. Come on. Top Gun in the house! We got Maverick! We got Fat Goose! Do we have a challenger? - Right here! Right here! - These two! She wants to! - These two. - Pick her! Who will accept this challenge? You go up there, I'll let you do whatever you want to me tonight. - All right, I'm doing it. - All right! - What? - Whoo! - No, no, no! - Are you kidding me? I saw your body last night, it's a lot better than Cody's. And my body sure as shit looks better than that fucking Shamu's up there. There's 1,000 people out here! A lost old man has wandered on stage. - Are you his nurse? - No. Fuck no. Get on stage! Get on stage! Get on stage! Get on stage! Get on stage! Get on stage! - Do it for me! - Get on stage! Get on stage! So we have team Top Gun versus creepy old guy and his lesbian daughter.
Dirty Grandpa
39.7s
- What? - I have to fuck that girl, Jason. - Jesus, Grandpa! - I do. I have to fuck her. Grandpa, you're just depressed. You're confused right now because of Grandma. Grandma wanted me to do this. - What? - Yeah. She said when she died, she wanted me to move on and live my life the way I wanted to, and right now, you know what I want to do? I want to get my dick sucked by that fucking college girl! What is that going to do for you? Is that going to make you feel young again? - Yeah! Yeah, what's wrong with that? - Yeah? Feeling young again? What do I have? A dead wife, dying friends. A few fucking good years left if I'm lucky. And you know what? It fucking freaks me out! Yeah.
Dirty Grandpa
30.7s
And, hey, everybody, don't forget to stop by Tam Pam Surf Slam in town where I'm selling "beach towels" for 50 bucks an ounce. "Sun screen" for 10 bucks a dime bag. And I'm also selling meth! Oh! Just got married! Your move, Viagra Falls. Crowd going wild for team Top Gun! Grandpa, I got this. Watch! Most muscular, on three. One, two, three.
Dirty Grandpa
28.8s
I'm sorry I made fun of you for being gay! Tell him you were raised in a different era, but now you know it's wrong to judge people based on their sexual orientation and that if you had to be gay with someone for some reason, you know, to prevent a terrorist attack or something, it would be with him. What? Ow! Say it. If I had to be gay with somebody to prevent a terrorist attack, it would be you!
Dirty Grandpa
22.3s
Give me that! What is this? Hey! Hey, hey, hey... Leave my illegitimate black son alone. We were just asking him to dance. - Well, he don't wanna dance. - Well, maybe you wanna dance instead. - I don't wanna dance... - Colonel Sanders! It's all right. It's all right. Let's not dirty this place up. It's a shrine. Sinatra sang here. Parking lot?
Dirty Grandpa