That virus you're always talking about... the one that could rip off the company... for a bunch of money. Yeah, what about it? Well, how does it work?
Office Space
2.6s
Would you like to sit down? OK.
Office Space
45.5s
You know what I can't figure out? How is it that all these stupid Neanderthal Mafia guys... can be so good at crime... and smart guys like us can suck so badly at it? We're new to it, though. If we had more experience... No. You know what I think? I think we're screwed. I think there's enough evidence... all over that building to link us to this. Even if we could launder money, I wouldn't want to. What we've done is bad enough. We get caught laundering money... we're not going to white-collar resort prison. No. We're going to federal "pound me in the ass" prison. I don't want to go to any prison. Why the hell did I do this? I've never done anything wrong in my whole life. We weren't thinking clearly... because you told us we were losing our jobs. Now look at us, we're worried about going in a prison. Don't worry about it. I'll think of something.
Office Space
2.4s
Call it a going-away present.
Office Space
27.5s
Look, I'm very sorry. I do not know anything about any money laundering. We're not asking you about money laundering. All we need is for you to hook us... If he doesn't know anybody... No. Wait a minute. Look, you just give us the name of one drug dealer. I could talk to him. I have good networking skill. I lied. All that stuff I said about being a crackhead... just helps me sell magazines. I'm actually an unemployed software engineer.
Office Space
2.5s
I like yours. Ugh!
Office Space
11.9s
I love "Kung Fu." - Channel 39. - Totally. You should come over and watch "Kung Fu" tonight. - OK. - Great. OK. Can we order lunch first? - Yeah. - OK.
Office Space
58.2s
Right, so there's three more people... we can easily lose. Then there's Tom Smykowski. He's useless. Gone. Sounds good to me. Here's a peculiar... - Uh, Milton Waddams. - Who's he? You know, squirrelly looking guy. Mumbles a lot. Oh, yeah. We... we can't actually find a record... of him being a current employee here. I looked into it more deeply... and I found that apparently what happened... is that he was laid off five years ago... and no one ever told him about it... but through some kind of glitch in the payroll department... he still gets a paycheque. So we just went ahead and fixed the glitch. Great. So, uh, Milton has been let go? Just a second there, professor. We, uh, we fixed the glitch. So he won't be receiving a paycheque anymore. So it'll just work itself out naturally. We always like to avoid confrontation whenever possible. The problem is solved from your end.
Office Space
5.4s
Y-yeah. OK, great, great. That's all I ask. OK.
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1.9s
Oh, for cryin'...
Office Space
12s
So... Peter... what's happening? Ahh, now, are you going to go ahead... and have those T.P.S. Reports for us this afternoon? No.
Office Space
11.6s
What if you get caught? Oh, I just don't know if this was such a good idea. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea for you to sleep with Lumbergh. What? What are you...
Office Space
2.8s
Actually, um, that all depends.
Office Space
11.2s
Wow! This place is really... nice. Yeah. Is it? Yeah, my God, compared to Chotchkie's! I like the uniforms better, anyways.
Office Space
8s
Listen, asshole. Nobody hangs up on me. We're through. Oh, and one more thing... I've been cheating on you!
Office Space
22.5s
Joanna, I want to apologise. I had no right to get pissed off at you about Lumbergh. Lumbergh is not my problem. It wasn't even the right Lumbergh. I don't know why I can't just... Go to work and be happy... like I'm supposed to, like everybody else. Peter, most people don't like their jobs. But you go out there and find something that makes you happy. Yeah. Well...