Oh. OK, well, I'll tell you what I'll do. I'm gonna go next door and get a table... and if you'd like to join me, uh... no big deal, all right? And if not, that's cool, too. - OK? - OK. All right.
Office Space
46.6s
You see, what we're actually trying to do here... is we're just, we're trying to get a feel... for how people spend their day at work. So if you would... would you walk us through a typical day for you? - Yeah. - Great. Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late. Uh, I use the side door. That way Lumbergh can't see me. And after that, I just sort of space out for about an hour. Uh, "space out"? Yeah. I just stare at my desk. But it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch, too. I'd say in a given week... I probably only do about fifteen minutes... of real, actual work.
Office Space
16.1s
Are you any relation to the pop singer? No, it's... it's just a coincidence. Ha ha. To be honest with you... I love his music. I do. - I'm a Michael Bolton fan. - Me, too. For my money, I don't know if it gets any better... than when he sings "When a Man Loves a Woman." But you must really love his music, huh?
Office Space
15.8s
Next batter looks like a Peter Gibbons. Uh-huh. Ah, there you are. We were just talking about you. You must be Peter Gibbons. Uh-huh. Terrific. I'm Bob Slydell. This is my associate Bob Porter. Oh, hi, Bob. Bob. Grab a seat and join us for a minute or two.
Office Space
8.3s
Wait, Peter. You gotta postpone it, man. Tell 'em you've been sick. Make something up. Oh, no way. No, I feel great. It's the best day of my life.
Office Space
2.5s
I could set the building on fire.
Office Space
3.2s
Is that your real name? Yeah.
Office Space
3.4s
Oh, yeah... right.
Office Space
1.6s
Mmm...
Office Space
1m6s
Good one. Oh, that's terrific, Peter. I'm sure you've... you've heard some of the rumours... circulating around the hallways... about how we're going to do a little "housecleaning..." with some software people. Well, Bob, I have heard that. You gotta do what you gotta do. We'll be getting rid of these people. First, Mr. Samir Naga... Naga... Naga-gonna work here anymore, anyway. And Mr. Mike Bolton. Nobody's gonna miss him. You're gonna layoff Samir and Michael? Yeah. We're gonna bring in some entry-level graduates. Farm some work out to Singapore, that's the usual deal. It's standard operating procedure. Do they know this yet? No. No, of course not. We find it's always better to fire people on a Friday. Studies have statistically shown... there's less chance of an incident... if you do it at the end of the week. Peter, what we'd like to do is put you into position... to have as many as four people... working right underneath you. This is a big promotion, Pete. So you're going to fire Michael and Samir... and give me more money?
Office Space
42.6s
L... I didn't receive my paycheque this week. Uh, you're going to have to talk to payroll about that. I did and they said... Milt, we're gonna go ahead... and move you downstairs into storage "B." No, l... I... New people are coming, and we need the space. But there's no space... So if you could go ahead and pack your stuff... and move it down there... that would be terrific. OK? Uh, excuse me... I believe you have my stapler, please. Hmm. You've been missing a lot of work lately. I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob.
Office Space
24.7s
Ahh... yeah... So I guess we should probably go ahead... and have a little talk, hmm? Not right now, Lumbergh, I'm... I'm kinda busy. In fact, I'm going to have to ask you to go ahead. Just come back another time. I got a meeting with the Bobs in a couple of minutes. Uh, I wasn't aware of a meeting with them. Yeah, they called me at home.
Office Space
20.5s
Uh-huh. Wow! Hmm. Yeah. That's it. That's exactly what I need. Give it to me. Come on, you little fucker, let's go. That's what I need. Let's do that. Let's do exactly that, you little fuck... - Michael. - Hey. Listen to me.
Office Space
14.7s
That sounds good, Peter. And, uh, we'll go ahead and... get this all fixed up for you. Great. Hi, Milton. What's happening?
Office Space
7.8s
"We're not in Kansas anymore." Yeah. Really. Ha ha. It's on your...
Office Space
1.7s
What are you doing tonight?
Office Space
2.6s
Yeah, and, uh, and l... Listen...
Office Space
54.2s
- I have a question. - Yes? In this conjugal visits, you can have sex with women? Yep, you sure can. OK, I'll do it. That's what I'm talkin' about when I talk about America! Can we discuss the plan? OK, yeah, good, right. It works like a computer virus. All we do is load it into the credit union's mainframe. It'll do the rest. Get me that disk, and I'll take it from there. Before we go any further, all right? We have to swear to God, Allah... that nobody knows about this but us, all right? No family members, no girlfriends. Nobody. - Of course. - Agreed. Don't worry, man! I won't tell anyone, either. - What the fuck is that? - Don't worry. He's cool. All right. Here's how I see it all going down. Peter, congratulations. This is one heck of a promotion. Thank you, Bob. We'll get some people under you right away.