Hello, everybody. This is Allen Kincade on the set of the exciting hit NBC and Screen Gems television series Bounty Law. Now, if you think you're seeing double, don't adjust your television sets because, well, in a way, you are. To my right is Bounty Law series lead and Jake Cahill himself, Rick Dalton. And to my left is Rick's stunt double, Cliff Booth. Welcome and thanks for taking the time - to visit with us. - It's our pleasure, Allen. So, Rick, explain to the audience exactly what it is a stunt double does. Well... actors are required to do a lot of dangerous stuff. Say Jake Cahill gets shot off his horse. Now, can I fall off a horse? Yes, I can, and, yes, I have. [CLIFF & ALLEN CHUCKLE] [CHUCKLES] But say I fall off wrong and I sprain my wrist or I... or I twist my ankle. Now, that can put an undue burden on production because now maybe I can't work for a week. So Cliff here is meant to help carry the load. Is that how you'd describe your job, Cliff? What, carrying his load? Yeah, that's about right. [LAUGHS]
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[MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY]
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And away we go.
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- [BRANDY WHINES] - All right.
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I hope the, uh, Rick Dalton double feature wasn't too painful for you and the... And the missus. [LAUGHS] Oh, no. "Painful." Stop. What are you saying? [♪♪♪] MARVIN: Mary Alice loves Westerns. Our whole courtship, we watched Westerns. - Here you go. - Thanks. MARVIN: And we thoroughly enjoyed Tanner. Oh, that's nice. It's really good. And anyway, she goes to bed. I open up a box of Havanas. I light up, I pour myself a cognac and I watch... The Fourteen Fists of McCluskey. [CHUCKLES] What a picture. - What a picture. - Good picture, yeah. That is so much fun. All the shooting. [IMITATING MACHINE GUN FIRING] [YELLING] I love that stuff. You know, the killing. A lot of killing. Lot of killing, yeah. OFFICER: Now, gentlemen, the plan is, we reverse our forces und drive the Allies back into the sea! [OFFICERS CHATTERING] OFFICER 1: Genius. OFFICER 2: Panzer divisions come in, and we drive them here to the ocean. They'll be up against the wall. - They will have nowhere to go. - OFFICER 3: Yes. This is the spot...
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We had a Rick Dalton double feature in our screening room last night. Oh, well, that's both flattering and-and embarrassing. [CHUCKLES] What'd you see? Thirty-five mm prints of Tanner and The Fourteen Fists of McCluskey. [WHIRRING]
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What are you looking at, bounty killer? I'm looking at an ugly owl-hoot - about to get his jaw busted. - [GRUNTS] Amateurs try and take men in alive.
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[SCREAMS] [GRUNTING]
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[CONCERT ANNOUNCEMENT]
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[EXHALES HEAVILY]
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[LAUGHS]
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I mean, where the fuck are we, man? We are in fucking Hollywood, man. The people an entire generation grew up watching kill people live here. And they live in pig-shit fucking luxury. I say fuck them. I say we cut their cocks off and make them eat it. [CHUCKLES] That's a great idea, Sadie.
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[SPEAKING IN SPANISH] All right, what's the matter, partner? [SIGHS] Well... it's official, old buddy. I'm a has-been. What are you talking about? What did that guy tell you? He told me the goddamn truth, is what he told me.
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NARRATOR: At more or less the same time, Voytek laid on the couch watching American television and thought about how much better it was than Polish television, as he smoked a big joint.
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So, uh, you've been doing guest shots on episodic TV shows the last couple of years? Yeah. Yeah. I'm doing a pilot f-for CBS right now. It's called... It's called Lancer. I play the heavy. Did a, ahem, Ron Ely Tarzan. I did a Land of the Giants. Green Hornet. I did that show, uh... Bingo Martin with that kid Scott Brown. Yeah. And I got a F.B.I. that-that airs this Sunday. You, um... You always play the bad guy on these shows? - Y-yeah. Mm-hm. - Yeah. So, and they have a fight scene at the end of them? Well, not... Not... Not Land of the Giants or F.B.I., - but the rest, yeah. Yeah. - And you lose in the fight? [CHUCKLES] Yeah. Yeah, of course. I'm... I'm the heavy. Oh, that's an old trick pulled by the networks. Now, you take Bingo Martin, for example. - Mm-hm. - Right? So you got a new guy like Scott Brown. You wanna build up his bona fides, right? So you hire a guy from a canceled show - to play the heavy. - Hmm. Then at the end of the show, when they fight, it's hero besting heavy. But what the audience sees is Bingo Martin whipping Jake Cahill's ass. - Uh-huh. - You see? Then next week, it's Ron Ely. And next week, it's Bob Conrad, wearing his tight pants, kicking your ass. - Yeah. - [CHUCKLES] Now, in another couple of years, playing punching bag to every swinging dick new to the network, that's gonna have a psychological effect on how the audience perceives you. Right. So, Rick, who's gonna kick the shit out of you next week? Mannix? The Man from U.N.C.L.E.? [CHUCKLING] The Girl from U.N.C.L.E.? How about Batman and Robin? Ping. Pow. Choom. Zoom. [CHUCKLES] Down goes you. Down goes your career as a leading man.
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- Oh. Whoa. - Oh, shit. - Hey. - I'm sorry about that. Sorry about that. Here. Put these on. Don't cry in front of the Mexicans. - Son of a bitch. - What's got you so upset, man? Well, if coming face-to-face with the failure that is your career ain't worth crying about, then I don't know what the fuck is. Right. That guy in there turn you down? No. He wants to help me get into Italian movies. - [SNIFFLES] - Then what's the problem? I gotta do Italian goddamn movies! - That's the fucking problem! - Come on. Fucking bullshit! It doesn't matter whether I cry in public. Nobody remembers who the fuck I am anyway, huh? REPORTER: ...at the Hall of Justice here. The defense will try to prove the killing of Kennedy - was the product of a sick mind. - Fuck! - Thank you. Hey, let's go. - Take me home, Cliff. Come on, take me home. REPORTER: ...as early as next Wednesday. More than 1000 Communists dead are reported in new, large-scale fighting in South Vietnam. U.S. losses are said to be... WOMAN: That's swell, man. Fucking hippie motherfuckers. REPORTER: ...and bases with rockets and mortar fire. As President Nixon was flying to Europe, he received details of that fighting by radio. WOMEN: ♪ Always is always forever ♪ ♪ As long as one is one ♪ ♪ Inside yourself For your father ♪ ♪ All is one, all is one All is one ♪ ♪ It's time we put Our love behind you ♪ ♪ The illusion Has been just a dream ♪ ♪ The Valley of Death And I'll find you ♪ ♪ Now is when On a sunshine beam ♪ Hot dog buns! [ALL CHEERING] ♪ For sure They shall surely see ♪ ♪ No clothing, no tears No hunger ♪ ♪ You shall see, you shall see You shall see ♪ ♪ Always is always forever ♪ ♪ As long as one is one ♪ ♪ Inside yourself For your father ♪ ♪ All is one, all is one All is one ♪
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Or do you go to Rome and star in Westerns and win fucking fights?