Ah, my welcome speech used to be full of euphemisms like... "This may hurt a little." "This may cause you some discomfort." But I've grown blunt. This workshop is not a government-led program. It's a private institution that turns reclamation projects like yourself... into men of extraordinary abilities.
Deadpool
1.2s
(SIGHS)
Deadpool
3.2s
It's over. Go home.
Deadpool
23.6s
Oh. But I can tell you one thing, and it's a bit of a secret. For the sequel, we're gonna have Cable. Amazing character. Bionic arm, time travel. We have no idea who we're gonna cast yet, but it could be anybody. Just need a big guy with a flat top. Could be Mel Gibson, Dolph Lundgren... Keira Knightley. She's got range. Who knows. Anyway, big secret. Shh... Oh, and don't leave your garbage all lying around. It's a total dick move.
Deadpool
4.6s
Oh, you're expecting a teaser for Deadpool 2. Well, we don't have that kind of money.
Deadpool
1.9s
(VOCALIZES)
Deadpool
7.6s
What are you expecting? Sam Jackson to show up? With an eye patch and a saucy little leather number? Go. Go.
Deadpool
1.2s
Go.
Deadpool
23.8s
And a convivial Tuesday in April to you too, Pool! Hey, yeah I wanna shoop, baby (WADE SINGING) Shoop shooop ba-doop, shoop ba-doop Shoop ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop You're packed and you're stacked 'specially in the back Brother, wanna thank your mother for a butt like that Can I get some fries with that shake-shake boobie? If looks could kill you would be an uzi You're a shotgun, bang! Wha... Oh!
Deadpool
16.4s
Oh, hello. I know, right? Whose balls did I have to fondle to get my very own movie? I can't tell you, but it does rhyme with "Polverine." And let me tell you, he's got a nice pair of smooth criminals down under.
Deadpool
8.7s
Anyway, I got places to be, a face to fix and, oh... Bad guys to kill. (POP MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)
Deadpool
3.9s
Have you seen this man? (GROANS) Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. (RADIO STATIONS CHANGING)