Even Maybe "no" to a Snickers bar every once in a while wouldn't hurt. Me and Ted are going to be best friends, Daddy.
Ted
5.4s
REX: That was insane. Did you see the way the guy's body hit the ground? He was like a ragdoll.
Ted
5.2s
Woody Harrelson. Smallest dick I've ever seen on a man. (BOTH LAUGHING)
Ted
1.2s
JOHN: Shit!
Ted
5.2s
Uh... Cocaine, right? Come on, dudes. Don't tell me you never done it before.
Ted
4.4s
All right, Kareem! (GLASS SHATTERING) Ah! You suck, Kareem.
Ted
3.2s
I just farted. That was a man fart. (GIGGLES)
Ted
19.5s
I look stupid. No you don't. You look dapper. I don't. I look like Snuggle's accountant. Come on, it's not that bad. John, I look like something you give your kid when you tell him Grandma died. Look, I know it sucks, okay? But you've got to make some money so you can pay for an apartment. I don't want to work at a grocery store. Yeah, but you have no skills. I told you, I can totally be a lawyer.
Ted
5.2s
You know, if your leg got trapped under a rock I'd chew it off to get you free.
Ted
4.8s
You can put the ring in her ass, let her fart it out. (THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
Ted
4.2s
Listen, why don't John and I go get a drink at the bar?
Ted
2.2s
Yeah. Take pride in that.
Ted
1.2s
Top Gun.
Ted
9.3s
Hey, anything for you. This is all part of the new, grown-up adult John Bennett, so you better get used to him. Really?
Ted
2.6s
Just to be clear, I'm not embarrassed.
Ted
4.4s
Huh? Yeah, because of that dog fight that I tried to break up.
