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10.7s

John, all you got to do is not fuck up and you get my job when I go to corporate next month. You're the new branch manager. All you've got to do is not fuck up. I realize that. Good.

Ted

3.4s

Is it 9:30? Yeah. Shit, I got to get to work!

Ted

2.5s

...the most important part of your life.

Ted

1.3s

What is it?

Ted

10.7s

Donny was arrested by Boston police and charged with kidnapping a plush toy. The charges were dropped when everyone realized how completely stupid that sounded.

Ted

18.8s

Thunder buddies for life, right, Johnny? Fucking right. Let's sing the thundersong. All right. BOTH: (SINGING) When you hear the sound of thunder Don't you get too scared Just grab your thunder buddy And say these magic words Fuck you, thunder You can suck my dick You can't get me, thunder 'Cause you're just God's farts (BOTH IMITATE FARTING)

Ted

20.8s

Sam Jones moved back to Hollywood with the goal of restarting his film career. He currently resides in Burbank where he shares a studio apartment with his roommate, Brandon Routh. Remember Brandon Routh from that God-awful Superman movie? Jesus Christ! Thanks for getting our hopes up and taking a giant shit on us.

Ted

10.4s

I'm sorry, Mr. Bennett, I didn't mean to scare anybody. I just wanted John and I to be friends. Yeah, Dad, I made a wish last night that Teddy was alive and my wish came true.

Ted

1.9s

Oh, my God!

Ted

1.4s

Teddy?

Ted

1.2s

Teddy?

Ted

2.4s

(SCREAMING) (DISHES SHATTERING) Jesus H. Fuck!

Ted

2.2s

I'm so sorry.

Ted

3.5s

Baby, I don't know if this is going to work. Please, just try.

Ted

3s

(CHUCKLING) You... you are a... You surprise me.

Ted

7.4s

Look, all I'm saying is that Boston women are, on the whole, a paler, uglier sort than women from the elsewheres of life.

Ted

3.7s

She's the most important... (COUGHING)

Ted

1.2s

Shit! Yes!

Ted

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John, all you got to do is not fuck up and you get my job when I go to corporate next month. You're the new branch manager. All you've got to do is not fuck up. I realize that. Good.

Is it 9:30? Yeah. Shit, I got to get to work!

...the most important part of your life.

What is it?

Donny was arrested by Boston police and charged with kidnapping a plush toy. The charges were dropped when everyone realized how completely stupid that sounded.

I'm sorry, Mr. Bennett, I didn't mean to scare anybody. I just wanted John and I to be friends. Yeah, Dad, I made a wish last night that Teddy was alive and my wish came true.

Oh, my God!

Teddy?

Teddy?

(SCREAMING) (DISHES SHATTERING) Jesus H. Fuck!

I'm so sorry.

Baby, I don't know if this is going to work. Please, just try.

(CHUCKLING) You... you are a... You surprise me.

Look, all I'm saying is that Boston women are, on the whole, a paler, uglier sort than women from the elsewheres of life.

She's the most important... (COUGHING)

Shit! Yes!