Found 785 results

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Hi.

Ted 2

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5.4s
But if we suddenly decide to share that gift, where does that lead us?

Ted 2

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Please be seated.

Ted 2

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If they choose to investigate the issue, it may leave you quite vulnerable.

Ted 2

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Oh. Oh, that... That's great! That's fucking great! I'm glad you guys are so happy! What? What do you mean, "What?" I'm totally screwed here. And you're sitting there basically banging my lawyer, and she's probably still fucking billing us! Well, don't yell at us, dude! We didn't do anything! Yeah, exactly! Exactly! Maybe if you guys had spent a little less time mooning over each other, Sam coulcfve won this thing and I wouldn't be a fucking thing! Like garbage or a piece of shit!

Ted 2

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You know what we're gonna do? We're gonna oall Patrick Meighan. Who's that?

Ted 2

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I won't be able to perform the implantation procedure. Wait, what? Why not? Tami-Lynn, according to your test results, you're no longer fertile. What? Wait, Doc, are you sure about that? I mean, maybe you should check again or something, you know? I'm quite sure. Tami-Lynn, because of your history of excessive drug use your ovarian canal has been somewhat compromised. What are you talking about? It looks fine. Yeah.

Ted 2

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Uh, those aren't supposed to be out.

Ted 2

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That Sister, Sister marathon ain't gonna watch itself.

Ted 2

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Oh, look, I did a lot of blow in the '80s and my sperm count's a little low.

Ted 2

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Oh. How low?

Ted 2

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One. Qne? Yeah, little fella's having his own I Am Legend in my nut sack. Oh. Can we have that one? No! Gonna need it for protein if I ever get lost at sea. Come on, guys. I mean, are we done here? I got to go.

Ted 2

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So what do ya say? You'd really be helping me and Tami out.

Ted 2

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I'm sorry. I, uh... You better be planning on buying that!

Ted 2

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All right, I'll help you. But we got to have a game plan.

Ted 2

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Shit. I oan never get a signal in your apartment. Hey, oan I use your laptop? Yeah, go ahead. Okay, thanks.

Ted 2

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God damn it! (ALARM BLARING) Ah! Oh, shit!

Ted 2

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Wake up, Johnny.

Ted 2