No, he's not my property. He's a person. He's way more of a person than lots of other people. I mean, fucking Steven Tyler? What the fuck is that? Some kind of weird soccer-mom-looking Goonie monster? Your Honor? I'll allow it.
Ted 2
1.4s
(BOTHLAUGH)
Ted 2
6.2s
Teddy, I'm scared. Baby, we're gonna be fine. I don't care what any fucking piece of paper says. You're my wife.
Ted 2
8.4s
MAN: Hey! Where the hell's my coffee? I've been waiting for 1 O minutes. I'm so sorry, sir. I forgot. I'll get it right away. Jesus, you're a waitress, you're not building rockets. Figure it out!
Ted 2
11.7s
I love you so much. And I swear to God, if we lose, I'm gonna fucking cut thatjudge. Wait a minute. You brought your switchblade? Yeah. But they patted us down on the way in here. Where'd you even hide it? Oh!
Ted 2
1m4s
What do I think you're doing? I think you're bleeding us dry, is what I think you're doing. Look at this, look at this. $129 at Filene's Basement. What are you buying over there, Tami? Gold bars? I need clothes for work. All right, Teddy? What do you mean? You wear a smook, you're a fucking cashier. Yeah? So are you! Yeah, exactly! And I'm not going out and buying designer shit! Oh,no,no, no,no,no! You're just buying weed, you're just buying drugs. You should fucking talk! I was talking. I was just talking, just now, until you interrupted me. Well, I have to interrupt you or else I never get to fucking say anything! Are you gonna let me finish talking? You're always cutting me off! Are you gonna let me finish talking? Are you gonna let me finish talking? It's important to look good at work. I am trying to climb the corporate fence, here! Nobody's in there to look at your ass! You're acting like an asshole! Oh, what am I acting like, Tami? You're acting like a fucking asshole! Like an asshole! That's what you're acting like! You don't got to dress like Elizabeth Taylor to put a yam in a plastic bag! I am the face of the business! Okay? The face of the business? So get the fuck off my case! Jesus Christ! Listen to you! You're delusional! I shoulcfve married Robert DiCicco. I really should've. Fine! Fine! Go torture that asshole! He treated me good! And (GASPS) he had a dick! He had an awesome dick! Oh, newsflash! Boston whore has seen Italian penis.
Ted 2
17s
And I believe that a just court must, by definition, grant basic human rights to all those who deserve them, just as the Emancipation Proclamation and the Thirteenth Amendment did so many years ago.
Ted 2
2.5s
It's right there for anyone to see.
Ted 2
16.7s
The anthropologist and ethioist Dawn Prince-Hughes argues that the standards for personhood include self-awareness, an ability to understand complex emotions and a capacity for empathy.
Ted 2
8.1s
As far as I'm concerned, anyone who can inspire that kind of love in another person deserves to be called human.
Ted 2
5.1s
We're all in agreement that Ted is self-aware.
Ted 2
1.8s
What defines a person?
Ted 2
1.5s
I'm alive.
Ted 2
1.4s
I will.
Ted 2
14.9s
(SINGING) Hey, you lawyer guys You don't know me and Johnny are watching you While we're high That was fucking magic. That felt smooth. That felt really smooth. Oh! So in the pocket.
Ted 2
4.8s
Oh, yeah? What's that? Tami-Lynn and I are gonna have a baby!
Ted 2
13s
Okay? And... And I don't want us to fight like we've been doing the past few months. I don't know, Teddy. Something's got to change, you know? Because I can't do this no more. It's too much. I know, I know, I know. And... And that's why...
Ted 2
10.7s
You do? Yeah. A baby? Like really? Yeah. See, I think, if we got a kid to love, it'll teach us how to love each other again.
