Gotta still hit the farmers' market. - What time is it? - 10:00-ish. - It's 10:00? - Mm-hm. I gotta pick up the kid. Where's Tony? Tony and I were out late last night. But don't worry, he's gonna be here. - You got this? - Yes. He's not gonna flake. Neither am I.
Chef
3.2s
Hey, I can't get a hold of your mom.
Chef
2.5s
We didn't go through with it.
Chef
1m55s
Buckle up, buddy. Sorry I'm late. I'm used to it. Listen, pal, I don't think we have time to catch a movie today. Is it 'cause you're getting reviewed? - Yeah, how'd you know about that? - Mom told me. What'd she say? She said you might be a little worried. - She said I was worried? - Yeah. Well, Mom doesn't know me that well, OK? - She's pretty spot-on about you. - Oh, yeah? You know what Mommy thinks I should be doing? - What? - That I should get a food truck. - I like food trucks. - Yeah, I like food trucks. Who doesn't like food trucks? Can you picture me driving a food truck? I'm a chef. - I work in a restaurant. - OK. Listen, I gotta go to the farmers' market, pick up some ingredients. OK. Can I come? I thought I'd drop you off at the restaurant. - Molly's there. - No, I wanna go with you. - You're not gonna ask me for everything you see? - No. It's not about you eating, it's about me buying groceries. - I know. - OK. Good. - You got the purple and white? - Just orange. Just orange? Alright, give me six bunches of those. - Or eight of the small. - Dad. Hang on a second, buddy. And on the radishes here, I use the tops, OK? - I need consistent tops. - Dad. Is that what's happening? Six of these. Let's see what we got. - Dad. - What do you want, Percy? - Can I please have kettle corn? - Daddy's working, OK? No, you're not gonna get kettle... - Why don't you get a piece of fruit? - I don't want fruit. How can you even ask for kettle corn? You know what it is? - No. - It's carbs covered with sugar, OK? Look at this piece of fruit. Huh? It's beautiful. How could you even want kettle corn with gorgeous fruit like this in front of you? Why don't you have a piece of fruit? So apparently they're sending a big reviewer who's also some huge food blogger. - You know what a food blogger is? - Yeah. A guy who writes about food on the internet. I know what a food blogger is. Well, this guy's a big one, and a lot of these big guys, they don't like me. They got it in for me because I got good write-ups when I started out. - They're haters. - Exactly. We didn't have that word when I was growing up. There was no word for hater. The most you would say is that somebody was, like, jealous, which didn't really capture it. The sausage guy's here. You ever try andouille sausage? - No. - It's spicy. - You like spicy? - No. It's not so spicy. Come on.
Chef
6.1s
- It's good to know Spanish. - You gotta, man. Thank you. Thank you, guys.
Chef
3.7s
Fucking idiot. Oh, man.
Chef
2.7s
- Hey, pal. - Hey.
Chef
20.5s
Wow! - Good? - It's fucking unbelievable, man. - Is it? - Holy shit! - No, seriously. - No, I'm serious. - Tell me the truth. - I'm telling you the truth. - It's incredible. - Is it good seasoning? - The seasoning's perfect. - Roll that shit! Chef Big Dog up all night cooking! - Come on in, buddy. - Come here. - Tony, check this out. - Shut up and taste this, amuse douche. - Come here. - What we got?
Chef
21.3s
- Ohh... - What the hell are you doing? - You told me to clean it out. - Not throw it in the garbage. That's a perfectly good hotel pan. Scrub it out. No, that's gross! I'm not cleaning that out. - Pick it out of the garbage. - Are you kidding? - It's disgusting. - You don't throw it in the garbage. Like we saved the rest of the stuff. Let's just clean it out. No. - Pick it out of the trash. - No.
Chef
10.3s
Because I was late? I already apologised to him. We're fine. Late? He waited for you for one hour alone outside. Well, I didn't realise it was that long. It's just... that was the day that...
Chef
1m45s
"Gauloises - eager to please." - Whoo! - Yes! "10 years ago, I had the good fortune to dine "at Chef Casper's revelatory Miami bistro, Marrow." - Miami in the house! - Marrow, baby! That's your house! "The sheer audacity of this fresh, brave voice of the culinary scene "reminded me why I write about food as a vocation." - Yeah! - That's a lot of pressure. "It is nearly impossible to separate my glowing regard for Chef Casper "and how much he inspired me from my expectations as I sat down to dine "at the recently remodelled Brentwood Gallic staple, Gauloises." - Yeah, this is good! - "Oh, how times have changed. "Over the last decade, Carl Casper has somehow managed to transform himself "from the edgiest chef in Miami "to the needy aunt that gives you $5 every time you see her "in hopes that you will like her, "but instead causes you to shrink from her cloying embrace "which threatens to smother you in her saggy, moist cleavage. "The signature app, "intended to impress the country club brunch crowd, "is the caviar egg. "A shirred egg topped with a dollop of caviar "is an excuse for the chef to overcharge us "for his insecurity and lack of imagination. "Carl Casper can best be summed up by the first bite of his needy "and yet by some miracle also irrelevant "chocolate lava cake. "Casper didn't even have the courage to undercook the cake, "thus curiously lacking its signature molten centre." "This sad dessert is emblematic "of Carl Casper's disappointing new chapter. "His dramatic... weight gain can only be explained "by the fact that he must be eating "all the food sent back to the kitchen." Two stars.
Chef
23.7s
What the hell are you doing here, man? What's this madness, huh? - This is crazy. - Yeah. - You didn't go home, did you? - No. - Come here. Check it out. - Go home, man. - You've been here all night. Go home. - Come here. Get some sleep. Fuck Twitter. Come on, get outta here. "Fuck Twitter"? What are you talking about, "Fuck Twitter"? I mean, you know, fuck 'em. That's what I mean. - Who reads that shit anyhow? - I'm not on Twitter. I don't know what you're talking about. Nothing. Just classic bullshit. What is that? - That's carne asada. Check it out. - Wow.
Chef
21.9s
- Wow. - It's good? Huh? Look at that. - Too much heat? - That's perfect, Chef. - It's good? Seasoning? - Oh, it's perfect. - It's nice and spicy. - You like it? - Oh, man. - Ha, jefe? Look at that. - I do. - Yeah? - It's fucking great. - Is it good? - Don't fuck with me. - But it's so good. - See, jefe? I told you. - It's flavourful as fuck, man. - It's nice, right? - Umm. - Is it good? - Yo, Big Dog, fuck Twitter.
Chef
3.7s
Mmm! Mom wants to talk to you.
Chef
2.1s
Inez.
Chef
2.3s
Inez?
Chef
1m6s
I don't get it. I don't get it. Everyone loved it. He loved it, even. Then Why'd he write all that mean shit about me? About my food? Who cares? Who cares? I do. 'Cause I could have done better. I should have cooked the shit I was gonna cook. You're ignoring the fact that everyone was happy and you're making a problem where there's no problem. It's not hard to make people happy. There's certain things you could put on a menu that'll make everybody happy. If you put ahi tuna on a menu, it will sell out. It's guaranteed. You know that. But I cooked the beef cheek, which is a better dish, and nobody wants to even try it. - It was good, though. - Yeah, for family meal. Well, who you cooking for, though? That's my point. Why do I have to pick? Why do I have to choose? Why can't I have both? There are chefs that cook food that they believe in and people will try because they're open to a new experience and they'll end up liking it. - What do you want me to say to you? - The truth. You want me to tell you that you're the best chef that I ever worked with. And it's true, because you are. You are, Carl. You are the best chef I've ever worked with. - OK. - I mean it. Well, thank you. You're welcome.
Chef
51.7s
- Dad? - Yeah. You got 1,653 followers since last night. - Oh, is that good? - It's amazing. Oh, good. What does it mean? It means that 1,653 people are reading your Twitter feed. Mm-hm. I thought it was like texting. Did you post anything since last night? - No. - Are you sure? Yeah, I just sent a private message to somebody. - To who? - To that A-hole food critic. You could only send private messages to people who are following you. I think you might have posted that publicly. No, he wrote something nasty about me and then I hit reply and it let me send a message to him. Dad, replies are public. Everybody can read them. And it looks like he re-tweeted it to all his 123,845 followers. And he wrote back.