Found 337 results
15.3s
She's got a knife. - It's just a SpongeBob knife. - It's still a knife. Just put the knife down, honey. Look, kid, just put down the weapon, okay? You guys want me to deal with this, or do you still got it? - Do you wanna let her jump in here now, please? - Okay, okay. Fine. Fine! Lita.
Instant Family
29.6s
- I did not cave. - Oh, you caved. Lizzy gave you the look and you caved. Maybe I just wanted to be the fun parent for once instead of being the bad guy. - I tried being the bad guy. You wouldn't let me. - Okay, fine. I'm sorry. But look how much fun everybody's having. And Lizzy, she's actually smiling. It's crazy. Hey! Did you have fun? You don't have to go on the kiddie rides. I love the big rides. You want to go on the... - Hey, Lizzy! - Hey, what's up? - Good to see you! - Good to see you too!
Instant Family
42.2s
What? You don't. - Actually, there's this one guy, Jacob. - Yeah? Wow, that's a cute name. Jacob. I like... Like Jake. No, honey, it's "Hway-cob." Right? Right? "Hway-cob." No, no, it's just Jacob. Jacob. J... J... acob. Yeah, and he's not cute. He's more of like an artsy, old soul type. - Yeah! - Yeah. I was never into the cute ones either. Nah. Cute's overrated. Right? I didn't either. I've never had a hot boyfriend, ever. Shut up! ♪ You look like a monkey ♪ ♪ And you smell like one too ♪ Yeah!
Instant Family
24.6s
I can't get over it. They look just like normal kids. What did you think they were gonna look like? Little pirates? I don't know. They're just so cute. How is the new school? It's good. It's like... It's, um... It's school. - Yeah. - Awesome. And what's the boy situation? Anything exciting? No, no. Hey, hey, leave her alone. She doesn't like talking about that kind of stuff, so just go easy.
Instant Family
38.5s
You know, this reminds me of when Pete and his degenerate friends stole a pizza truck. - She's good. She's good. - Oh, God. Are you two gonna stand there all night, or are we gonna try to get these kids to bed at a decent hour? You remember I told you we weren't special enough for this? - We were doing fine. - You said that we were in a rut. Maybe we were spoiled and didn't appreciate the rut. The rut was easy and quiet. You know, I miss the rut. But you had to be a mommy. Whose idea was it to go and talk to the teenagers? We could've had a toddler who doesn't have opinions and thong underwear. - What? - You pushed us into some next-level shit! Look, we can't start turning on each other here. If we just stay calm and we work together, we can find a way to get these little assholes out of our house!
Instant Family
37.3s
So he doesn't have to wear a cast or anything? It's just stitches? - Yeah. - Well, that's good news. - Yeah. - And how did this happen? It was my fault. I walked away, and I left the gun there. - Juan just picked it up. - No. It wasn't their fault. It was mine. I was trying to leave in a car and I wasn't supposed to, and then they got distracted, and then I yelled at Juan, and he dropped the thing on his foot... Don't be ridiculous. I should never have left the nail gun there. Pete, shut up! This is the kind of stuff they move kids for, okay? It wasn't their fault. They didn't do anything. - I should be the one getting in trouble right now. - It's okay. Why don't you come on over here? Excuse me. And, uh, let's talk about what happened.
Instant Family
29.6s
It's the look. She's doing the look. I gotta get some ketchup. Pete, you'd said you'd say something to her next time she acts all bitchy. I never said the word "bitchy." It was her word, not mine. I am always the bad guy because you're never there. I'm not gonna apologize for working. Somebody's gotta deal with that dump of a house you bought before it bankrupts us. I bought? You loved it too. And that's not even the point. The point is, when you are there, you let them get away with murder. I got on Lizzy just last night when she wouldn't clean up after dinner! Perfect parent, huh? - Is this funny, Kit? - I think we're all enjoying this a little bit, Pete.
Instant Family
15.5s
What are you doing? Take it out! - No, better to leave it in till we get to the hospital. - You're okay, buddy. We're here. We're here. You're okay. Stay still. I got to wrap it up. Relax. We'll get you there in one second, okay? You're... - Oh, honey, Juan is gonna be okay. - Come on.
Instant Family
1m9s
Yes! I'm a little afraid to say anything, but yes, that's basically how we feel. That's how your children feel every day of their lives. When you took this on, you felt good about yourself because you knew that it mattered, right? Well, guess what. Things that matter are hard. Now I know where Brenda gets her inspiring speech thing. Listen, guys, right now, you're all they've got. So your job is to keep them safe, whether they want you to or not. Wow. He's got it too. ...much. That was incredible. Thank you. - I'm so sorry that I blew up at you. - I'm sorry I slapped you! - I know! That was crazy! - I know. I apologize. It was good. I needed it. I haven't been slapped for a long time. It was a bit aggressive. It was a little bit out of line. Well, you were, honey. You were. All right, honey, we gotta go. - We gotta get going. - Take care. Thank you. You're on Facebook, right? I'll find you. Okay! Bye! Bye! Thank you! Bye. Let's get in the house right away, really quick.
Instant Family