It's Lance Armstrong's nut. I had it freeze-dried and bronzed.
Ted
12.3s
I wonder who it's going to hit first. So, if I told him once, I told him a million times these numbers do not add up. (GAGGING) Who did this to us? God damn it! I'm here on business!
Ted
12.3s
John, I need a man. Not a little boy with a teddy bear. I know, done. Man. Right here, in front of you, all right? Look at these pecs. These are man pecs. Look at the hair on my upper lip. That's man hair.
Ted
1.5s
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
Ted
4.3s
TED: Hey, Lori, can you set the alarm for 11:00 a.m.? I've got a lot of stuff to do tomorrow.
Ted
3.1s
Ha-ha. No, just you homos. Whoa! Whoa!
Ted
2.6s
(OMINOUS RING-TONE PLAYING)
Ted
1.8s
Good luck. Thank you.
Ted
11.6s
All right, kid, you win. We'll do it your way. What do you want to do? You want to play a game? It's playtime, right? We'll play a game. Yeah, I want to play a game. Good, good. Let's see. How about we... How about we play a little game of hide and seek?
Ted
1.2s
Why?
Ted
5.9s
Are you kidding me? No, no, no. Four years, we've been going out. I'm taking you to the best place in town.
Ted
1.7s
Come on.
Ted
7.8s
I could sit here and tell you I'm sorry, it was a huge misunderstanding, and I'm ready to change, but I don't think you want to hear any of that crap.
Ted
1.3s
Jesus!
Ted
5s
All right, whatever you say. Hey Yes? Here's to four more years.
Ted
5.9s
Nobody's ever talked to me like that before. That's 'cause everyone's mouth is usually full of your wife's box.
Ted
3.9s
Come on, nobody's expecting anybody to propose. I mean, marriage isn't...
