Nobody's ever talked to me like that before. That's 'cause everyone's mouth is usually full of your wife's box.
Ted
1.6s
Is that my ringtone?
Ted
20.3s
Break his arm off! We're going to die. We're all going to die. Break this up, break this up. Get him! (YELLING) MING: You break my wall! This my home long time. You break my wall, you bastard men. We're sorry, it was an accident, okay? I try to make duck dinner, now plaster everywhere. Chill out. Can we just talk about this? What's your name? I'm John. My name is Wan Ming.
Ted
9.2s
You know, Lori would hate me for saying this, but she told me how you are at the office. And, as one gentleman to another, I just want to say I really hope you fucking get Lou Gehrig's disease.
Ted
12.3s
John, I need a man. Not a little boy with a teddy bear. I know, done. Man. Right here, in front of you, all right? Look at these pecs. These are man pecs. Look at the hair on my upper lip. That's man hair.
Ted
7.5s
Lori's a senior VP at a big, huge PR firm. It's not that big of a deal. Company's turning 20, huh? So you can bang it, but you can't get it drunk.
Ted
1.5s
Trust me. I love you.
Ted
11.6s
All right, kid, you win. We'll do it your way. What do you want to do? You want to play a game? It's playtime, right? We'll play a game. Yeah, I want to play a game. Good, good. Let's see. How about we... How about we play a little game of hide and seek?
Ted
7.8s
I could sit here and tell you I'm sorry, it was a huge misunderstanding, and I'm ready to change, but I don't think you want to hear any of that crap.
Ted
8.5s
(SIGHS) Look, John loves you very much, more than anything in the world, and he's falling to fucking pieces without you.
Ted
3.3s
(STAPLING) Ah! (MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
Ted
1.2s
YOU did it.
Ted
10.1s
Come on. She'll go home, she'll watch Bridget Jones- something-asshole. She'll have a good cry, she'll be fine. You'll talk to her tomorrow. Come on upstairs. Are you even listening to me? Do you give any shred of a shit?
