Teddy, come on, we're going to be late for dinner with your friends. Okay, be there in a second, baby. As you can see, my dance card is quite full. So, I'm going to have to decline. Can I just get a hug?
Ted
7.1s
(SQUEALS EXCITEDLY) He acknowledged it. Let's do some shots. With you? Ch, my God, yes! Ch, my God, yes! Let's go!
Ted
2.4s
Lori ever fart in front of you? Yeah.
Ted
2.7s
(ALL CHEERING) (SQUAWKING)
Ted
2.1s
Thank you for being so honest.
Ted
1.7s
And we're in love.
Ted
16.5s
What a cunt. Ow! I hate that word! What? That word. It's so sharp, it's like an electric sword slashing everything in its path. Why would you say that? You didn't exactly stand up for me. I'm trying to walk a line, here. I want to be fair to you and to him, you know? I think you're being a little more fair to him. Oh, come on.
Ted
5.3s
There she is. I was worried you weren't coming. Hey, squirt, how you doing? Where's your bunny rabbit?
Ted
5.4s
Oh, my God, it always looks so great! I always want to fucking brush it. Right, Johnny? I say that.
Ted
2s
You can thank Ted.
Ted
1.4s
I'm coming.
Ted
2.4s
In the corner, there is a shit!
Ted
1.8s
You're right.
Ted
14.6s
Look, I'm only saying this because I love you. You're not going to have any sort of career if you keep wasting time with Ted. Oh, jeez, here we go. Baby, please ask Ted to move out so we can move on with our lives. Lori, look, he's been my best friend since I was eight. I was not a popular child.
Ted
11.6s
TED: Play Chopsticks, you jazzy slut. Teddy! (LAUGHS) How are you? How are you doing, you fuzzy little asshole? Well, I'm not a hot, half-Muslim chick who sold 37 million records, but I'm hanging in there.
Ted
12.2s
What are you, five years old? JOHN: Yeah. But I read at a six-year-old level, so... (LAUGHING) Sir, and madam, here is your dessert and champagne.
Ted
8.5s
You ready to bring down the house? Yes, ma'am. Thank you for the opportunity, Miss... Ma'am Jones. Thank you. Jesus, you look fantastic.
Ted
6.2s
Yeah, as you can see you've been a part of our family for quite some time.
