Daddy punished me for it. That's a great story. I felt like I was there. Daddy gave me an ouch.
Ted
20.8s
Sam Jones moved back to Hollywood with the goal of restarting his film career. He currently resides in Burbank where he shares a studio apartment with his roommate, Brandon Routh. Remember Brandon Routh from that God-awful Superman movie? Jesus Christ! Thanks for getting our hopes up and taking a giant shit on us.
Ted
1.2s
(CHEERING)
Ted
15.7s
Well, you're probably not used to seeing me fully clothed. Yeah, I know, right? Me and Norah met in 2002 at a party at Belinda Carlisle's house and we had awkward fuzzy sex in the coatroom. Actually, you weren't so bad for a guy with no penis. You know, I have written so many angry letters to Hasbro about that.
Ted
1.4s
(AUDIENCE CONTINUES BOOING)
Ted
2.2s
Greatest night ever!
Ted
6.8s
Okay, so, if you need anything... Yeah, I know. Don't worry, Johnny, I'll be fine.
Ted
5.5s
ROBERT: No! You can't have my teddy bear!
Ted
1.2s
Wait a second.
Ted
1.4s
(GRUNTS)
Ted
21.8s
Well, I am a former celebrity in a minimum wage job. This is how the cast of Diff'rent Strokes feels. All day, every day. Just awful. They must feel awful. The live ones must feel awful. Come on. It's not that bad, okay? I got a shitty job, and I assure you, lam quite content. Excuse me. I'm sorry to bother you but my son and I couldn't help but admire your teddy bear.
Ted
6.2s
It'll be great when it's furnished. Yeah, and the guy said it ain't hardly had no murders in it. So, that's good.
Ted
5.2s
Hey, Johnny! Total T.J. Hooker, right? Yes! Fucking-A right! (LAUGHS)