Well, I am a former celebrity in a minimum wage job. This is how the cast of Diff'rent Strokes feels. All day, every day. Just awful. They must feel awful. The live ones must feel awful. Come on. It's not that bad, okay? I got a shitty job, and I assure you, lam quite content. Excuse me. I'm sorry to bother you but my son and I couldn't help but admire your teddy bear.
Ted
7.3s
Just like in the movie. Yes. Get over here right now. Fuck, I can%! I'm with Lori here. I'm already on probation.
Ted
6.7s
Even Maybe "no" to a Snickers bar every once in a while wouldn't hurt. Me and Ted are going to be best friends, Daddy.
Ted
3.3s
Yeah, first night in my beautiful new apartment.
Ted
2.4s
There's something that I need to say to you, too.
Ted
1.7s
(AUDIENCE SHOUTING)
Ted
5.4s
REX: That was insane. Did you see the way the guy's body hit the ground? He was like a ragdoll.
Ted
4.2s
Listen, why don't John and I go get a drink at the bar?
Ted
3.4s
Yes, he is, my little winner. Yes, he is.
Ted
1.4s
You walking home alone, huh?
Ted
15.4s
Lori, the worst that can happen is that you go on a fun, casual date with a guy who just wants a chance to prove that he can be something more than a jerk. Plus, you are a huge catch. And it's about time someone treated you that way.
Ted
5.9s
Uh... I'm not sure, it's... (DIAL TONE) Hello? Hello, John?
Ted
3s
Don't ever lose her again.
Ted
11.5s
You had sexual intercourse with a co-worker on top of the produce that we sell to the public. I fucked her with a parsnip last week and I sold the parsnip to a family with four small children.
Ted
5.4s
Well, as it turned out, John picked the perfect night to make a wish.
Ted
4.8s
What? Excuse me? I want it. I'm not an "it," pal. I'm a "he," all right?
Ted
2.8s
Okay, here's a test to see how much you actually care about me.