You used me to spread the virus around the world. Yes I did. And our plan worked brilliantly. We got our revenge on the world for them laughing on us. Did you hear that, Brian? -Yes, sir. -If anything happens to me, forward this to my best boyfriends, Jim and Jerry.
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♪ ♪
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(exhales sharply)
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BORAT: Jangshemash. My name a Borat. My life is nice. Not. But how I end up like this? 14 year ago, I release a moviefilm which was great success in US&A. But Kazakhstan become a laughingstocks around the world. Our exports of potassium and pubis plummet. Many brokers leapt from our tallest skyscrapers. (grunts)
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What do you two want... to keep your mouths shut?
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I have some ideas. ♪ ♪
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No more strong. We can’t be strong anymore.
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(grunts) I go to America! (crowd jeering) Go to hell, Sagdiyev! Don’t bother coming back this time! (crowd booing)
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Ok...
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"How is Johnny?" ♪ ♪
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♪ ♪
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I want to hear your story, my dear. This is the worst story that ever happened to any human being... or Jew. I came here on a simple mission to save my country by delivering our number one televiski star Johnny the Monkey as a gift to Michael Pence. And I’m sure you’ve figured out what happen next. My daughter had smuggled herself into the crate, and yes, you got it, she’d eaten the monkey. Although I believe he probably eat himself. There are bad stories out there. Listen, you want to hear my story, -when I was a little child? -Yes, what is your story? I was in the Holocaust. You see me? I was in the Holocaust. -The Holocaust? You were in the... -Yeah. -I was... -But the Hol-- the Holocaust never happen. But I saw it with my own eyes.
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(door creaks)
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We’re not going to kill you.
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Uh, in the panty-house. Uh, ooh. So, probably in a rough estimate, how many lives President Trump saved? I’d say he’s saved a million lives. There would’ve been a million more had he, had he waited -that month, the way the Democrats would’ve done. -Yeah. Uh, but he acted swiftly, he acted before anybod-- in fact, even his own, even his own advisors... -some of them advised him not to do it. -Really? -Yeah. -(coughs) I’m good. Oh, here, a little bit does some good? -Here you go. (chuckles) -Yeah. It’s always good. Never been in front of the camera. I’ve always been behind of the camera, but today, something with this... Uh, I think you’re gonna look pretty good. -(chuckles) -(chuckling): We will see. Yeah, you’re gonna look pretty good. -But it’s because of you. -Well, thank you. I really feel like Melania right now. Well, you’re doing very well. So I think you’re gonna look pretty... Sorry to interrupt, Mayor. Um, sound problem. I think we cancel interview. Mm-hmm? -Uh, I don’t think we need, uh... because... -Yeah. -I-I already checked... -I’ll just check your mic. GIULIANI: Okay. -Is that better? -Yeah, that’s b-better. Let me just listen in for a minute. Yeah. Is she asking too many questions? No, she’s doing great. She’d make a very nagging wife.
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(panting)
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What is that magical calculator? It’s called a phone.