Found 1403 results
55.7s
Am I on drugs? Of course I am! This is too incredible! Flex Off history is being made! - What's up now, Brah? - Yeah, what's up now, Brah? Yeah, what's up now, Brah? 'Sup now, Brah? 'Sup now, Brah? 'Sup now, Brah? This is incredible! Take out your cameras! Put this online! This shit is going viral! Shit. Let me down. Did everybody get a picture of that? What the fuck are you doing? - I can't do this... - What? - God... - The winners of the Alpha Delta Flex Off... Wait a minute! Where are you going? - Guys? - Where are you going? Jason! You can't just leave me here like this. Why'd you stop? We were winning! Because I'm a lawyer! I can't have people taking pictures of me doing stuff like this. Can you imagine if the firm saw something like that? By default, the winner of the Flex Off is... - Bring the cup home, baby! - ...these two dildos.
Dirty Grandpa
30.4s
- Hey, there he is. - No. Don't even fucking talk to me. I know things got a little chaotic, but I'm so close with Lenore... What the fuck is wrong with you? I'm about to get fucking married, Grandpa! In one week! To a Jewish girl! And I just woke up in fucking jail with a bunch of penises on my forehead in the shape of a swastika! Could call it a swasticock. - What? - It's a play on words. Oh, it's a play on words.
Dirty Grandpa
1m27s
Could I have some pants? Please... Oh, Jesus Christ, I'm so sorry. Of course. Yeah, absolutely. You want khakis or sweatpants? - Khakis, please. - What brand? You like Dockers? - Yeah. - Yeah, okay. All right. You're like a 30... Yeah, 30 is fine. What I wouldn't give to fit in a 30. Maybe 20 years ago, you know? When I was seven years old. Yeah... all right. Also I'm gonna step out and get some lunch. Do you want a sandwich? I would love a sandwich. - Ham? Turkey? - Turkey? Turkey. That's so funny, because I'm a turkey guy myself. - You know. - Thank you so much. Okay, absolutely. You want mayo on that? - Uh, no thank you, no. - Okay. - Extra veggies. - Extra veggies? - Yes, please. - You got it. Absolutely. - And... - Salt and vinegar. - You want salt and vinegar as well? - Yeah, thank you. You gotta watch that sodium. That's what drives your blood pressure up, and blood pressure is a silent killer. All right, turkey, okay... all right. Yeah. And, uh, finally, do you want to be sodomized by a man with the mental age of seven who calls himself Ping-Pong, or do you want to be shivved by, uh, the same guy? Just let me know what time works for you, 'cause you're in fucking jail.
Dirty Grandpa
30.7s
And, hey, everybody, don't forget to stop by Tam Pam Surf Slam in town where I'm selling "beach towels" for 50 bucks an ounce. "Sun screen" for 10 bucks a dime bag. And I'm also selling meth! Oh! Just got married! Your move, Viagra Falls. Crowd going wild for team Top Gun! Grandpa, I got this. Watch! Most muscular, on three. One, two, three.
Dirty Grandpa
1m43s
Okay, Daytona Beach! Who's ready for a Flex Off! I'm talking about dudes getting on stage, getting ripped! Yeah! Yes, I'll be home tomorrow. I promise. And I know... Yes, I know the dinner is important to the firm... Hold on, I'm getting another call. It might be Meredith. Okay? Bye. - Hello? - Hey, it's me. Someone just stuck their thumb up my ass. What? Yeah, I was just standing right there, talking on the phone, and someone came right up behind me and stuck their thumb up my ass. - Did you see who it was... - Jamba! Ow! Fuck! Stop doing that! - How'd it go on the home front? - How do you think? Come on. Let's go. Come on. Top Gun in the house! We got Maverick! We got Fat Goose! Do we have a challenger? - Right here! Right here! - These two! She wants to! - These two. - Pick her! Who will accept this challenge? You go up there, I'll let you do whatever you want to me tonight. - All right, I'm doing it. - All right! - What? - Whoo! - No, no, no! - Are you kidding me? I saw your body last night, it's a lot better than Cody's. And my body sure as shit looks better than that fucking Shamu's up there. There's 1,000 people out here! A lost old man has wandered on stage. - Are you his nurse? - No. Fuck no. Get on stage! Get on stage! Get on stage! Get on stage! Get on stage! Get on stage! - Do it for me! - Get on stage! Get on stage! So we have team Top Gun versus creepy old guy and his lesbian daughter.
Dirty Grandpa
28.8s
I'm sorry I made fun of you for being gay! Tell him you were raised in a different era, but now you know it's wrong to judge people based on their sexual orientation and that if you had to be gay with someone for some reason, you know, to prevent a terrorist attack or something, it would be with him. What? Ow! Say it. If I had to be gay with somebody to prevent a terrorist attack, it would be you!
Dirty Grandpa