It was my last chance and I fucked it up and... Your last chance to do what? To make you my girlfriend for the summer.
Superbad
11.8s
Yeah, but they don't really show dick going in, which is a huge concern. I didn't realize that. Plus, have you ever seen a vagina by itself? Not for me. Hi.
- Oh, fuck me. - Look at those nipples. They're like little baby toes. It's not fair they get to flaunt that stuff... ...and I have to hide every erection I get. You know what I do? I flip my boner up into my waistband. It hides it and it feels awesome. I almost blew a load into my bellybutton. I mean, just imagine if girls weren't weirded out by our boners... ...and just, like, wanted to see them. I mean, that's the world I one day wanna live in. It's been two years since I've seen an actual human female nipple. Shauna? Shauna was two years ago now? Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. But she was insanely hot. Exactly. She was too hot, okay? That's what sucks. How can that suck? I'd be psyched if I got with her. You got, like, two dozen handjobs. Yes, and three-quarters of a blowjob, but who's counting? Look, it was the peak of my ass-getting career... ...and it happened way too early. - You're like Orson Welles. - Exactly! If I'd paced myself, I'd be having at least steady sex... ...with a decent-looking girl. I honestly see now why Orson Welles ate his fat ass to death. You'll have sex in college, everyone does. But the point is to be good at sex by the time you get to college. You don't want girls thinking you suck dick at fucking pussy. I still think you have a chance with Jules. She got incredibly hot over last summer... ...and she obviously hasn't realized it yet... ...because she's still talking to you and flirting with you. Are you out of your mind? Look at Jules' dating record, okay? She dated Dan Remick, who's had a six-pack since, like, kindergarten. Jason Stone, who looks like fucking Zack Morris. And Matt Muir. Matt Muir. He's the sweetest guy ever. Have you ever stared into his eyes? It was like the first time I heard the Beatles.
Superbad
7.4s
You're being an idiot. You shouldn't have parked there. Fuck it. I'm about to graduate. They should be sucking on my ball sac.
Superbad
2.7s
- Do you have a condom? - Yes.
Superbad
3.1s
McLovin! Nice!
Superbad
11.7s
- Fuck me. - Oh, suck on my nuts, Slater! All right, you... That was a lucky shot. - That was a lucky shot. - I rule. I got jizzed on. All right.
Superbad
9.5s
My name? It's M... McLov... McLovin. McLovin? Yeah.
Superbad
15.1s
- Someone forgot to call pest control. - Yep. Where you going? Hey, party's still on. - Where are you going? - No. If you're back there, get out. Everyone, come on. - We will shoot you. - Party's over. - Evan. - Get the hell out of here. Keep your hands up.
Superbad
13.7s
Come on, McLovin. I've never been with an older guy before. Well, it's way better. I know, we made some kick-ass tiramisu earlier. It was deli... It looked weird. But it was delicious.
Superbad
8.9s
Bought her a Binion's, complimented her on her tote bag... ...and next thing I know, she's putting her mouth around the tip of my penis.
Superbad
3.3s
- Everybody stay calm. - Get the fuck out of my way!
Superbad
10s
- You're, like, really, really drunk. - So? You're drunk. You're drunk, Jules. Yeah, I'm actually... I'm not drunk at all. I don't even drink, so it's... I mean...
Superbad
15s
You sick sons of bitches! What the fuck? Michaels, are you okay?
Superbad
11.2s
And thank you very much for bringing everything, again. Seriously, it really made the night. No, that's how I roll. That's the thing. It's no problems. You'll learn that.
Superbad
8s
Oh, shit, guys. We're three blocks away, man. We made it. We made it with the booze and everything. We made it. Hold this.
