This is called a suit. You wear one every day. Along with a necktie. Black, not white, socks. - Dress shoes, not shower sandals. - Please. These are awful. - And, of course, underwear. - Come on. No more commando, Mitch, you're a grown-ass man. Put them on. This is called a schedule. It tells you everything you need to do each day. Pick-ups, drop-offs, activities, play-dates, doctor's appointments, etc. You'll notice that there are approximately 50 hours' worth of obligations on any given day. Make it work.
The Change-Up
4.9s
This is called a grocery store. People buy food here. It's part of your responsibilities.
The Change-Up
8.5s
You don't want to have sex with me? Yeah, I want to have sex with you. I've wanted to have sex with you since the sixth grade! I mean, you should be a mess by now, - but things are not... - Well, let's do it!
The Change-Up
23.1s
- I would bet, yeah. - Why are you still soft? I don't know. Can we try the no-talking for just, like, three minutes? That's all it's gonna take, okay? Let's do it like we did it on our wedding night. No, no, no. Jamie, what are you talking about, our fucking wedding night? - God! I can't do this! - Why not? I cannot believe I can't do this! What the hell is happening? God damn it! What?
The Change-Up
4.2s
There you go. Where's that hand going? - Hello! - Did you shave your balls?
The Change-Up
1.4s
This is new.
The Change-Up
6s
Never mind. It's the mediation tomorrow, so I'm under it. I can't play.
The Change-Up
4.1s
Did I forget something? I don't know. What?
The Change-Up
1.5s
Sorry you got stood up.
The Change-Up
5.8s
So, how did it go? How much money is it? Just two hours, so, 14 bucks. Great.
The Change-Up
2.6s
- Who is this? - Your wife.
The Change-Up
2.6s
Dave Lockwood. Did you forget something?
The Change-Up
6.7s
Where did that come from? Hang on, hang on, I got it. No, they are going to call it.
The Change-Up
2.7s
Oh, my God!
The Change-Up
6.3s
Man, this is amazing. I can't believe they're making me partner. I'm the greatest lawyer, ever. What a day.
The Change-Up
3.7s
Are you glad you came now? Am I glad I came? It's like the greatest day of my life!
The Change-Up
1.2s
What did I tell you?
The Change-Up
20.5s
You can tell Kinkabe we want an extra 100 million. And that is our final offer, because we're leaving. Fuel the jet, let's go. For the record, I did not support that decision. Sir!
