What does that even mean? Like, you're a thing? What, like garbage or a piece of shit?
Ted 2
3.8s
Well, we'll have to talk about that.
Ted 2
1.4s
You play the guitar?
Ted 2
7.4s
As much as anybody I've ever known. Sam, that means the world coming from someone who went to Arizona State.
Ted 2
3.4s
Suddenly, being human doesn't seem so special anymore, does it?
Ted 2
3.2s
I don't know, man. I got to do something or my marriage is gonna collapse. (SIGHS)
Ted 2
2.9s
So what do ya say? You'd really be helping me and Tami out.
Ted 2
2.2s
And when I have him, I'll call you with the code phrase.
Ted 2
1.8s
I'll give you a minute.
Ted 2
7.2s
TED: Can't believe it. That son of a bitch! That was really selfish of him. I know. And after I watched his piece-of-shit movie, like, a hundred times.
Ted 2
8.2s
I mean, everything seemed like it was gonna be so perfect. Yeah. Well, you're not the first guy to marry the wrong girl. Hey, hey! Big day, huh, bud?
Ted 2
6.9s
Oh, Johnny, come on, man. It's been six months since you guys got divorced. I know, I know. It's just that...
Ted 2
2.4s
Rick and I are actually about to tie the knot.
Ted 2
2.7s
Teddy, this is the best day of my life!
Ted 2
2.4s
Let's go get shit-faced! Okay!
Ted 2
28.2s
MALE NARRATOR: We are often told that happily-ever-afters exist only in the pages of fairy tales and in the naive minds of sheltered innocents. And yet, on this bright, sunny, Boston afternoon, a talking teddy bear is about to marry his girlfriend, proving two things. Happy endings can come true for anyone. And America doesn't give a shit about anything.
Ted 2
25.6s
Yeah, I'm gonna pass. (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) (SINGING) I'm steppin' out with my honey Can't be bad to feel so good Never felt quite so sunny So I keep on knockin' wood Yeah, steppin' out with my baby Can't go wrong 'cause I'm in right Ask me when will the day be The big day may be tonight TED: This is the best day of my life!
Ted 2
14.7s
You guys wanna celebrate with a little something else, hmm? Oh. Uh, no, thanks, Sam. Tami-Lynn would kill me if I did drugs on our wedding day. Ah, she won't notice. I just did a line with a dude in the men's room and I bet you can't even spot him.
